


Loneliness (sequel to Alone)

by monarose



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:10:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monarose/pseuds/monarose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Alone. Eric is determined to get Alexis back and make her fall in love with him again now that her memory has been erased, but it's not easy to fall for someone you barely know. (AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Four's POV

 

“Where are you going, Eric? The Divergent city is the other way.” He said, pointing to the right with his thumb.

As if he actually heard Four speak, Eric looked directly into the camera and gave him the finger as he passed by. Four couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face.

A year ago Four’s world had turned upside down. Jeanine had won the war and quickly injected everyone within the Faction system while the Bureau could do nothing but sit back and watch it happen, effectively cutting him off from his old life, and the girl he loved chose to take the Abnegation serum and leave for good when she found out about Eric’s betrayal.

Except, Four didn’t believe David’s story about Eric trying to kill him when confronted about his involvement with Jeanine because Eric was the best shot he’d ever seen and there was no way he’d miss at point blank range. No, he knew there was another reason why Eric was in the fringe and Alexis left without saying good-bye, and he faked his unwavering belief in David so he could keep an eye out for the truth.

It took a month before Mark finally mentioned about the fact that Duncan gave Alexis a vaccination for her panic attacks before the assault and finding it odd, since he knew for a fact that it didn’t work, Four had a talk with him.

His suspicions were quickly confirmed and over time he slowly found others who were growing doubtful themselves when David did nothing to stop Jeanine and helped to keep track of his plans while Four and Mark kept tabs on Eric and Alexis until they could finally make a move.

Alexis was doing well within the Divergent City, getting a job and apartment, but Four felt like she was sad. Even though she had friends, she often spent her leisure time reading old romance novels left over from before the Purity War that she borrowed from the library instead of going out and socializing. It was like her heart knew she was missing something and wouldn’t be able to find it there so she looked for it in a fantasy world.

Eric on the other hand was proving to be an even bigger badass than when he was in Dauntless. He quickly learned to spot the cameras early on so it wasn’t very often they saw him, but when they did it was always in a small settlement of GD’s asking for directions.

Only Divergent had ever been to the Divergent city, so Four wasn’t surprised at their lack of knowledge of its whereabouts, but it was clear Eric was beginning to get frustrated.

Before, whenever he managed to find hostile GD’s, he’d quickly end the argument by knocking them out and moving on, but lately he’d engage in an all-out fight with them, allowing them to get in a hit or two before he’d pummel them into the ground and rumor of him was quickly spreading throughout the fringe so that eventually no one wanted to cross him.

It wasn’t those rumors that were stopping the Divergent from going after him though. David refused to let them, citing that Eric would die out in the wilderness long before he’d ever reach Alexis, because it was obvious that’s where he was going, but a year later he was still going and closer to her than ever.

The plan now was to wait him out and if he did make it they would stop him at the gates. Knowing Eric, Four doubted the plan was going to work, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Hey.” Mark said as he sat down next to him.

Four leaned back in his chair and stretched with a yawn before replying, “Hey.”

“Long night?” Mark asked, nodding to the screen.

“Yeah. This is the first glimpse of him in a week.”

“What are we going to do when he does finally head the right way?” Mark asked, stifling his own yawn.

“We’ll keep an eye on him and as soon as he gets near enough we’ll send Amar to get them, but we’ll need to discredit David before we can bring them back here.”

“And just how do we plan to do that?” Mark wondered.

“I’m working on it,” Four replied and drained the last of his drink, “but first I need another coffee.  
***

  
Eric’s POV

“About fucking time.” Eric grumbled to himself as he spotted the tall fence of the Divergent City off in the distance.

He knew it was the right one this time by the large number of armed trucks waiting for him outside of it when all the others had nothing in the form of protection whenever he approached.

David was not kidding when he said Eric would never reach this place on foot, and he’d be right if he was talking about anyone else, but despite the fact this city was on the opposite side of the country from Chicago, Eric made it. Now all he had to do was get inside, unnoticed, and find Alexis.

Would she look familiar to him after all this time? Would she even be the same person with all her memories gone? So many questions ran through his mind his nerves were beginning to get the better of him. With a deep breath he double checked the ammo in his guns and came up with a plan.

It wasn’t going to be easy getting in. He had no authority here to just order someone to let him in and the entire Bureau knew who he was so he’d be spotted in no time if he tried to blend in; his only choice was to climb the wall.

Eric was checking the fence for blind spots in the cameras at a safe distance from the gate and guards when he was surprised by someone walking up on him.

“I hope you’re not planning to climb it, Eric.” Amar said behind him.

Eric spun around at the sound of his voice and whipped his gun out of the waist of his pants, aiming it at his old colleague with amazing speed.

“Hey man, I’m unarmed and I’ve been looking for you.” Amar said as he froze; his arms up in surrender.

“I bet you have.” Eric growled back at him, clicking the safety off his gun.

“No, listen. I’m with Four, not David and we’re trying to help you get Alexis out.” Amar explained.

“Four?” Eric repeated, his resolve to shoot Amar wavering. He narrowed his eyes at the other man in distrust. “Does he want you to steal her away from me as soon as I’ve got her and then shoot me in the back?”

“Why would we do that?” Amar sounded perplexed by his question.

“Revenge. He was in love with Alexis too and I’m the reason she was taken away from both of us. Not to mention that it’s apparently my fault you two almost died on that train so forgive me if I’m a little sceptical about you wanting to help me.” Eric said, his gun still aimed at Amar’s head.

Amar shook his head and took a brave step forward. “We know it wasn’t you. Since the night you left, David has been acting weird. He wouldn’t let us come after you and he wouldn’t let us stop Jeanine either. Four’s trying to get to the bottom of it so we can take him out of power.”

“Why don’t I just save you the trouble by telling you?” Eric arrogantly offered. “When David realized her serum could help him control the unruly GD population, he told her about our attack so she could get her hands on Alexis. He wants her to use that serum in the Factions as a testing group, see how it works, before he distributes it to the other cities.”

Amar’s eyes widened. “How did you find this out?”

“It came out of the horse’s mouth before he shot himself to put the blame on me.” Eric replied.

“Shit, Eric. Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?! You don’t know what she’s done to the city with that serum!” Amar said, completely forgetting about the gun pointed at him and began pacing.

“She has almost everyone living like the Factionless. Taking the best of everything from food, clothes, and luxury items for herself and Erudite while the rest of them are so brain washed that they’re okay starving. Dauntless has it a little easier though, in repayment for their loyalty to her and for their protection against the real Factionless. They still have free will and often try to attack Erudite, but they’re unorganized and poorly equipped that they always fail.” He explained.

“The Factions aren’t my problem anymore.” Eric ground out. He didn’t care what happened to them. They turned their back on him, just like the Bureau did and he didn’t plan on going back to either of them.

Amar stopped pacing and regarded Eric with disappointment. “They should be. You might have no one left, but Alexis does and her family is starving along with the rest of them.”

A stab of guilt shot through Eric’s chest at the mention of the Morgans and he lowered his gun. “Fine. How are you going to get me in?”

A smile slowly slid on Amar’s face as he said, “That’s what I wanted to hear.” He rubbed his hands together in excitement and said, “We’re going to pretend you’re a new Divergent being added to the city so they let us through the gate. From there you can find Alexis and use your skills of persuasion to get her to come with you to meet me back at the gate at midnight. We’ll steal away in the night and camp out until Four says it’s all safe at the Bureau. With the info you gave me about David, it shouldn’t take too long to arrest him.”

The plan sounded like it would work and Eric nodded, eager to get inside and see Alexis’ face again. He didn’t intend to follow through with Amar’s second half of the plan though, because he no longer trusted anyone besides himself and Alexis.

His plan was to use Amar to get inside, find Alexis and convince her to leave with him, slip past Amar and the Divergent and go somewhere where no one would ever find them. The hardest part about it was getting Alexis to believe him.

Eric tucked his gun away and followed Amar back to the gate, but mid-way there he realized the one hole in the plan and stopped.

“Wait.”

Amar turned back and gave him a confused look. “What?”

“They’re going to recognize me if we just walk up there.” He replied.

Amar rolled his eyes and got close enough to tug on Eric’s beard. “Have you seen yourself lately? I can barely recognize you with the caveman thing you’ve got going on.”

Eric scowled and pulled away. “I’m sorry I haven’t had access to a bathroom recently enough for you.”

“No, it’s good. It means we can just walk up to the gate and not worry. No one’s seen your face, except Four, since you disappeared.” Amar said and Eric supposed he was right. They kept walking and Amar kept talking.

“Some info about the city: this place isn’t like the Factions, okay? Here everyone gets jobs based on skill and desirability. Like Alexis, she works as a secretary to a lawyer because she had experience working in an office while in Amity and it was the only job she was interested in applying for. No one is limited to a certain type of job based on their aptitude here.

“People don’t live in compounds. They have separate houses and apartments that they each choose to live in based on what they can afford to pay for.

“Luxury items and essentials, like food, are not evenly distributed either. If you want it and have enough money to pay for it, then you can have it. Got it?” He asked Eric, who grunted in reply.

The gate wasn’t as far away as he originally thought and they reached it in no time. Eric subconsciously fingered the knife hidden underneath his sleeve as they approached the countless Divergent who stood on guard and Amar joyfully greeted them as they passed by with minimal looks of inquiry.

The man at the gate grinned at Amar as they drew closer and said, “Hey, Amar, who’s your friend?”

Amar clapped Eric on the shoulder and replied with a wink, “This is Clarence. He’s coming home from a visit with his family back in Birmingham, Alabama.”

“I see.” The guard said with a smirk. “Had a long journey have you Clarence?” He asked, taking in Eric’s filthy appearance.

“Yes, sir. My car broke down and this kind gentleman offered me a ride home. Really looking forward to getting back and having a nice long shower.” Eric said, attempting to sound like he belonged.

“That’s quite understandable, Clarence. Go on in and I hope you had a good trip.” The man said and punched in a code on the door, which Eric committed to memory for later use.

Amar gave the guard a salute and followed Eric inside the city and down a few blocks to an area that Eric knew was camera free.

“Clarence?” Eric asked, wishing his partner had picked a better name.

“Sorry, it was the first name that came to mind, but it worked didn’t it?” Amar apologized.

Eric rolled his eyes and said, “Now what?”

“Now you find Alexis and meet me later. She works late most nights so you should find her there easy enough and if not she only lives a few blocks away.” Amar said and gave him the address to her workplace before turning back for the gate.

Eric didn’t bother to watch him go and immediately searched for her building. The city as a whole looked similar to Chicago with all its’ deteriorated buildings in the distance but the relatively small area around him was brand new with smoothly paved roads and sidewalks to accommodate the small population within.

The sun was going down by the time he found it and he could see movement in the windows as people walked by. It was hard to make out detail from his position in the bushes but he thought he saw her, a glimpse of a girl in a purple dress with her dark hair tied up in a high ponytail, and his heart sped up in anticipation. Not wanting to miss her as she left, Eric found a good spot to sit out of sight of the cameras and waited.


	2. Chapter 2

Alexis’ POV

It was already dark out when Alexis finally left her work and as she walked down the dark sidewalk, with only the full moon to light her way, she felt like someone was following her. Too afraid to look back, she quickened her steps and pulled her black blazer tighter over her bare shoulders as she hurried home.

“Alexis?” A deep voice called from behind her and made her heart jump into her throat.

She wanted to bolt for her apartment two blocks away, but the realization that he knew her name stopped her. She turned to see if it was Jack, her co-worker, coming to give her something she forgot but it wasn’t him.

About fifteen feet away from her stood a huge man. As soon as she faced him he stilled and stared at her; she stared right back, too frozen in fear to flee. He looked absolutely menacing behind all the hair that hid his face and the filthy torn black clothes he wore.

Before she knew what was happening, he had her in his arms and kissed her. Alexis instinctively kneed him in the crotch and when he let her go to double over, she kneed him in the face too. He fell back with a groan and she couldn’t believe she had just taken him down on her own. She was staring at her hands in shock when he chuckled.

“You may have forgotten me, but you sure haven’t forgotten your training.” He said before coughing and getting up.

Alexis took a step back in fright and confusion. “What are you talking about? I don’t know you.”

“You did before David took your memories and put you in this place.” He said, squaring his shoulders.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You must have the wrong girl, because I was born here.”

His teeth flashed white behind his dense beard as he let out a rumbling laugh and something about it struck her as familiar.

“Then how do you explain how I know your name?” He asked and took a step forward when she didn’t reply. “If you hadn’t just knocked me flat, then I’d believe I made a mistake but I know it’s you, Alexis.”

“I don’t…” She mumbled as she backed up, feeling vulnerable.

“You don’t know how you did that?” He finished for her with a smirk. “That’s because your memories of learning it are gone. They took your memories of your life, your family, of you and me away and replaced them with lies.”

“You and me?” She said to herself, eyeing him up. She didn’t like the feeling of being toyed with and pushed back. “Alright, what the hell is going on?! This has to be some kind of a joke, right? Did Jack put you up to this?”

The man scowled. “You’re not listening to me are you? I didn’t spend a year of my life out in the fringe just to find you and have another argument...”

“Wait. You came from the fringe?” Alexis blurted, a surge of excitement going through her.

She’d grown up with horror stories about the fringe, but she always figured they were just myths since she never saw any evidence of anything on the outside and always wondered what was really out there.

He frowned. “I tell you you’re whole life, as you know it, is a lie and the part about the fringe is where I get your attention?”

“Uh, yeah. You have no proof that someone hijacked my brain, but you do look like shit and I can believe you spent a year out there.” She replied crossing her arms over her chest, no longer afraid of him.

“Fine. If you want details, then can we please go somewhere more private? There are people who are trying to stop me from finding you.” He said grabbing her arm, but she shook him off.

“Hey! There’s going to be some ground rules before I go anywhere with you.” She said.

The man crossed his arms over his own chest and smirked, mirth twinkling behind his blue eyes. “Let’s hear it.”

“Number one: hands off. Number two: you need a bath.” She wrinkled her nose at the strong odour coming off him and his grin spread wider. “And number three: you have to promise not to kill me.”

“Is that all?” He asked, clearly still amused.

“Why are you grinning at me like I’m a plate of freshly cooked bacon?” Alexis asked, growing uneasy at the way he was looking at her.

He shook his head and chuckled. “You haven’t changed. I was worried you might have turned into some boring, whimpering girl with your new life, but you’re still the annoying, brave woman I fell in love with. Please tell me you don’t have some boyfriend I need to beat the shit out of.”

She was taken aback by his frankness and wrapped her blazer tighter over her purple dress. “First of all, my boyfriend status is none of your business because I DON’T KNOW YOU, and second, I am not annoying.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” He replied with his consistent smirk. “But I really must insist we move on.”

“You haven’t agreed to any of my rules.” She replied, not budging from her spot.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. “I promise not to kill you, in fact I’m trying to save you; I would love a shower if you take me somewhere that has one, and I will do my best to keep my hands to myself.”

Alexis pursed her lips in thought. “How do I know I can trust you to be telling me the truth?”

The man growled and dug in the waist of his pants to pull out a pistol and shoved it into her hands. “You can shoot me if I try to hurt you, okay?”

Her mouth dropped open at the gun in her hands and she quickly gave it back. “You have a gun? Are you crazy?!”

“What part about me coming from the fringe or people coming after me has you confused?”

“Fine!” She hissed back. “We can go to my apartment.”

Alexis started to keep walking home when his hand snuck around her bicep and stopped her. She gave him the evil eye at the touch and he said,

“Sorry, but you can’t go yet.”

“Why not?”

“We’re in a blind spot right now. If you keep going you’ll be in range of that camera.” He said pointing to a wall off in the distance.

Alexis turned, but couldn’t see anything. He rolled his eyes at her raised brow and said, “Just tell me where you live and I’ll meet you there.”

“92 Sycamore Avenue, apartment 3C.” She replied.

“I don’t know the streets around here and I don’t want to waste time by looking for signs. Just give me an outside description.”

“Um… Its’ two blocks that way, the four story brick building with the fire escape. I’m on the third floor, second window from the right edge… Is that enough detail?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded, looking in the direction she pointed out.

Alexis nervously turned her back to him and went home.

_What the hell is wrong with you, Alexis?! You shouldn’t be letting some guy you don’t even know the name of in your home! I probably should have kept that gun… But there’s something about him… Ugh, I think I’m going crazy._ She berated herself as she walked.

Her job normally kept her out late, but she’d never felt uneasy at how empty the streets were before tonight and she found herself wishing there was anyone else walking around with her besides the man behind her.

The city wasn’t very populated, maybe a few thousand, so crime was so low it was almost non-existent. No one had guns within the city walls except the police and the fact that her mystery man had one was a tick in his box as proof of his fringe story.

Alexis reached her building and dug around her purse for her keys before putting them in the door and unlocking it. She glanced behind to see if the guy was following her but the street was empty and with a small sigh of relief, she went in and climbed the stairs to her apartment. Upon entering her cozy one bedroom unit she found her living room window wide open and the white curtains fluttering in the breeze.

“You should start locking your windows.” Her new friend said as he casually lounged on her cream coloured couch, waiting for her. Alexis jumped at the sound of his voice.

“What are you doing?! Get your filthy body off my clean couch!” She cried out and rushed over, pulling him off by the arm.

He didn’t resist her and stood up so they were close with her hands still wrapped around his tattooed forearm. She was surprised by how strong it felt beneath her fingers and her cheeks flushed when she noticed the way he was looking down at her. Like he wanted her to touch more of him, but was too afraid to ask her to.

She cleared her throat and stepped back. “The bathroom is over there if you still want to have that shower. Towels are already in there.” She said.

He nodded silently and pulled his dirty t-shirt over his head as he walked away. She hadn’t noticed that he had taken his coat off and hung it by the door before she arrived and was shocked at the sight of how malnourished he looked. His waist was too narrow for the expanse of his broad shoulders; clearly indicating what should have been a bulky physique but was now instead a lean muscle mass.

Deciding to feed him a proper meal, Alexis rummaged through her fridge when he was gone and found a couple of steaks. She didn’t have a grill but she didn’t think he’d mind if she pan fried them instead, and had them sizzling away as she prepared mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli smothered in butter to go with it.

She was already sitting down at the table with the two plates of food when he finally emerged clean shaven, hair cropped close to his head and wearing clean damp clothes. She raised an eyebrow at him, wondering if he showered while clothed, and appraised him. All she could say was that he was very good looking.

He sniffed the air appreciatively as he walked over in bare feet and placed a dry towel on the seat of her dining chair before sitting down. His stomach immediately growled loudly and she hid her smirk behind her hand as he began shoveling food into his mouth. He was nearly done when he noticed she was watching him eat and he slowly stopped his fork mid-way to his mouth and set it back down.

“Sorry…” He trailed off.

Alexis felt the awkward tension between them build and looked down at her plate, knowing his eyes were still on her. Her stomach was too knotted to want food and she pushed her broccoli around instead of eating.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered and she glanced up at the wistfulness in his voice. “Purple really suits you.”

“Uh, thanks. It’s my favourite colour.” She mumbled in reply, becoming increasingly uncomfortable. “I never caught your name.” She said wanting to change the subject.

“It’s Eric Coulter.” He replied and paused before sighing. “Look, I know this is weird…”

“That’s an understatement.” Alexis said under her breath.

He ignored her and continued, “But I need to explain a few things to you...”

“You can start by telling me why you were in the fringe, as per our agreement.” She interrupted him, shoving her plate away.

Eric glanced at it with longing and knowing he was probably still hungry, she gestured for him to have it. With a nod of thanks he switched the plates out and started talking as he chewed another bite.

“Why are you so fascinated by the fringe?” He asked.

“I don’t know, really. My whole life I’ve heard stories about it and I kind of want to find out the truth, I suppose.” She shrugged.

“What sort of stories have they been telling you?”

“Oh, like how there are monsters roaming outside that like to eat flesh so we should never set foot out there unless we want to be eaten. Sometimes there are variations on the monsters. My personal favourite is the genetically altered humans left over from the Purity War that eat brains.” She smirked at the story, knowing it was ridiculous but still enjoyed hearing it.

“Well, both versions are correct… in a way,” He said slowly in thought; Alexis looked at him startled, “but not completely. Wild animals are out there and they will eat you if food has been scarce, and there are genetically altered humans too, but they don’t eat brains and I know that because I’m one of them.”

Alexis stared at him in shock. He was a genetically altered human? But he looked perfectly normal to her.

He caught her look and seemed to know what she was thinking because with a smirk he said, “Were you imagining physical alterations, like two heads?”

“…Yes… What’s wrong with you if it’s not physical?” she leaned in, narrowing her eyes at him in speculation.

“It’s more of a personality thing. The Bureau calls us the Genetically Damaged because a long time ago some asshole scientists decided to play God and screw around with our DNA to weed out bad behaviours but ended up making it worse so that we’re only capable of some personality traits and not others.

“You on the other hand are a Divergent, Genetically Pure, and so is the rest of this city. You were all put in here to help cure the world of their mistake because your genes have fixed themselves over time.” Eric explained, hoping she would believe him.

“So, I can have more than one personality trait at the same time, but you can’t? Which one do you have then?” She was curious, but at the same time sceptical.

“Where we come from I’m Dauntless. We represent bravery and fearlessness.”

“And me?”

“You were Amity, they value peace and forgiveness, but you also could have been in Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless.”

“What are the other two?”

“Respectively: selflessness and knowledge. So you’re basically kind, selfless, smart and brave all at the same time.”

“So, were you the police there or something? Did you teach me to fight because I can be all of them even though I was in Amity?”

Eric shifted in his seat. “That’s not how the Factions work. You’re born into one Faction and when you turn sixteen you can switch Factions based on your aptitude, but once you pick you’re stuck there. Amity can’t be a part of our police system just like Candor can’t be part of our government.”

“Wait, what?”

Eric sighed. “In Chicago there are five Factions. Everyone inside the city can only belong to one of the five: Abnegation our government, Amity our Farmers, Candor our Justice System, Dauntless our police or Erudite our Teachers. When we turn sixteen we take a test that tells us which aptitude we have and most people go to that Faction so our society can work, though you aren’t forced to, but if you fail to comply with your Factions’ values then you become Factionless and live on the streets.”

Alexis screwed her face up in confusion. “But I must have been able to move around if I was in Amity and you trained me to fight…”

Eric groaned and rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. “You were a considered a danger to our society and therefore hunted down. I found you and taught you in secret.”

“But… I thought the Divergent were what society needed to be cured.” She argued.

“You are, but come on Alexis, the Divergent were few amongst hundreds of non-Divergent who were afraid of what you could do. You’re going to tell me you’re surprised?”

Alexis frowned, contemplating the implication of the situation and thought of something.

“Why are you telling me this? Why bother to find me if I’m safer here than over there?” She asked, searching his eyes for an answer.

Eric clenched his fork for the briefest second before answering, “Because I love you. Because they took you away from me before we even had a chance. Because I owe you.” He glanced down when he finished.

Alexis’ eyebrows shot up. “You owe me? For what?”

“I’m the reason why you lost everything against your free will. If I wasn’t in love with you then David might have let you stay at the Bureau and you could have saved your family.”

Her family? For as long as she could remember she was orphaned as a baby and raised by the Alderman’s who died in an accident two years ago. As for his love, she believed that. She could see he felt it strongly from the way he looked at her, but she had no idea if she ever felt the same way towards him. There was no proof for any of this; just his word and he could be deeply, deeply, delusional for all she knew…

“You don’t believe a thing I’ve told you, do you?”

“Well, I have to say it’s a bit far-fetched, don’t you think? A whole city that controls its’ populace with Factions because some of them are brave, but not selfless? From what I know, most of the time people do brave things because they’re being selfless.

“Take yourself for example. If you really did spend a year in the fringe, starving and facing wild animals just because you owed me then obviously you’re not only brave, but also at least a little selfless. So, wouldn’t that make you Divergent too? No one can be that one dimensional.”

Eric stared at her, the cogs in his brain working hard behind his eyes at this revelation. Apparently no one else had thought of it.

“Look, I have no clue if you’re right or not. I just found this shit out a year ago and I’ve spent most of my time after that just trying to survive, not hypothesizing about whether or not it’s true. All I wanted to do was get you back and disappear together so the Bureau would stop coming after us because of what I know.”

“You want me to run away with you? Just like that?”

“If I had a choice I would give you time to fall in love with me again, but we don’t have that kind of time. The Bureau is waiting for me to find you and when they find out I have, they’ll probably kill us both.”

“Well, this conversation is just going downhill isn’t it?!” Alexis scoffed; her anger building. “First I’m in here for my own safety, and then you’re breaking me out because I was brought against my will, and now they’ll probably kill me just because you did show up. If you really did love me then maybe you should have just stayed away!”

“Like I said, I’m NOT selfless!” He reminded her with a growl and stood up quickly. “Do you think this is easy for me? To come here knowing you would think I’m crazy and have to endure the look of unrecognition on your face every time you look at me? It kills me to know you have no idea who I am or what I’ve been through to get here.

“But you’re all I have left in this world and yes, I’m being selfish and risking your life so I can finally be happy. Do I regret it? Fuck, yes! But I’m doing it anyway! I’ve been brave for my own selfish reasons, not because I’m Divergent.” He denied hotly.

A mixture of guilt, flattery and suspicion washed over her and she didn’t know what to believe. She needed time to think.

“I’m going to bed. You can stay on the couch for tonight... and you better not even think about coming into my room.” She warned him as she stood up and walked to her room, which was right off the living room, leaving Eric to stand there as he watched her leave.


	3. Chapter 3

Four's POV

 

“Four!” Someone called through Four’s apartment door, jarring him awake, as they banged on it.

He looked at the alarm clock beside his head and read the time. It said 11:43 pm and Four groaned at the fact that he had only been asleep for two hours. No wonder his mind felt foggy with sleep, but another knock made it focus and he got up to answer it.

Mark stood on the other side in the dark hallway and pushed his way in as soon as Four opened it. He looked anxious and Four became concerned.

“What’s the matter?”

“He’s inside her apartment! I didn’t think he’d risk ever going there, knowing what our surveillance is capable of, but he did and I don’t know what to do.” Mark ranted, pacing from Four’s kitchen table to the fridge that sat just to the right of him.

Four slowly closed the front door as he processed the information. The Bureau didn’t monitor everyone’s home and normally Alexis would be left out too, but her apartment had security cameras placed inside for this very reason.

Earlier in the day they knew Eric had reached the city and the last that Four had heard before retiring for the night was that Amar had intercepted him and gotten him safely inside. Now they were just waiting for Eric to return to the gates with Alexis at midnight.

“Did you replace the footage with our pre-recorded ones?” Four asked, pushing a hand through his already tousled hair.

“Yes, but… I think I was too late and Tom might have gotten a glimpse of Eric before I switched it.” Mark blushed in apology.

“Shit.” Four uncharacteristically cursed to himself. “Did he talk to anyone after that?”

Mark pursed his lips, his eyes rolling up to the right as he tried to recollect what happened. “I’m not sure. I was so busy changing the feed that I only noticed that he was acting odd after I was done and that’s when the idea that maybe he saw something came to mind. I have no idea what he was doing between then.”

Their attention snapped to Four’s front door when it rattled under someone’s fist and a voice shouted through it, “Mark Morgan and Four, you’re both under arrest for aiding the traitor known as Eric Coulter.”

Four’s body tensed and he let out a breath. “I guess that answers that…”  
***

Eric's POV

  
Eric couldn’t sleep.

After Alexis went to bed, he cleaned up the dishes and then tried to sleep on the couch but after a year of sleeping on a hard cold ground or on the flat mats the fringe people called beds, he just couldn’t get comfortable. Giving up, he got up and decided to look around.

On the window sill, Alexis had a row of garden herbs growing in a planter box and on the wall beside it was a bookcase almost filled with reprinted books from before the Purity War. Taking a closer look, he touched each as he read the spine and realized that most of them were romances, with a few self-help ones and a single history book thrown into the mix.

The thought that she might be as lonely as he was flickered through his mind as he read the titles and instead of the guilt he expected to feel, he was glad. Did that make him a terrible person? Probably, but he didn’t dwell on it as it was a fact he already came to terms with a long time ago.

He left the books and walked around the room, playing with little trinkets and other items she had laying around the beige room. Looking around him there were a couple pictures hanging on the walls; one was a meadow with tall purple flowers during a sunset and the other was a picture of a barren cliff overlooking water and it reminded him of Dauntless.

All these things, he realized, were what made Alexis, Alexis. This was her without boundaries. Her apartment was warm, inviting and calming, and yet it also held knowledge and was simplistic in its decorations.

He glanced at her bedroom door, longing to go in and curl his body around hers, longing to tell her that he loved all of her. But knowing her, if he set foot inside that room she would castrate him on the spot.

With a disgruntled sigh, he turned back to the couch and went to sit down but as he passed by the window something caught his eye. He quickly turned off the lights and peered through the sheer curtains again.

There. The glint of metal reflecting the light from the street lamp across the road and then the black shape that ran across that same beam of light. It happened once more and Eric knew it was the Divergent coming for them.

Amar had warned him about the cameras in Alexis’ apartment, but he foolishly believed that Four wouldn’t allow him to get caught just to get back at him if it risked Alexis’ safety and would take care of it. Apparently he was wrong.

In three long strides, he reached her room and tried to open the door but it was obstructed by something large and the sound of it banging into the dresser woke her up. As Alexis bolted up in her bed, Eric kept banging the door into the bureau she had placed in front to stop him from entering until a gap large enough for him to fit appeared.

“Hey! I think you should leave!” She pointed to the door after she crawled to the other side of the bed to keep a distance between them when he approached.

“We have to go. Right now.” He said with urgency.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Eric growled at her resistance. “We don’t have time for this!” He leaned across the bed and grabbed her arm to pull her with him to the door. “They’re already here.”

“Who’s here?” Alexis asked, trying to pry off his tight grip.

Eric opened his mouth to tell her it was the Divergent when they heard the front door burst open and they instinctively flinched. Without wasting any time, Eric picked Alexis up and squeezed through the narrow entrance of the room with her hiding in his embrace. Bullets flew past them as they ran the short distance to the window and he thrust her out first before clambering out after.

The street was quiet, except for the pounding of their feet on the metal fire escape as they ran down, and his mind raced with thoughts on where to go. Amar said to meet him at the gate, but that was half an hour ago and even though Eric expected he would wait all night if he had to, Eric trusted him and Four even less now.

“This way.” Alexis said when they reached the bottom and took off down the street in her bare feet.

Surprise only stopped him for a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for one of their pursuers to take a shot and the bullet grazed his bicep. It was the loud pop of the gun that spurred him into action rather than the pain and he mindlessly followed Alexis as she wound her way through the empty streets, adrenaline pushing both their bodies beyond their normal breaking points.

It was clear she was heading towards the unused section of the city because the maintenance of the buildings steadily worsened and the lights were fewer in between the farther they went, but the rapid footsteps behind them didn’t cease.

Originally, Eric thought she was randomly choosing streets to lose the Divergent, but he soon realized she had a destination in mind when the faint sound of music hit his ears. The squat structure in front of them was dark and boarded up, and Eric would have thought it was abandoned just like the others if it wasn’t for the man who stood inside the doorway like a guard.

“Hey, Alexis! You alright?” The man greeted her when she panted up to him with a hand holding a stitch in her side. He eyed up her shoeless state and the fact that she only wore shorts and a camisole and sent Eric a suspicious frown.

“No… Time… Need in… Now.” She told him in between breaths and gestured to Eric. “He’s… With me.”

The man narrowed his eyes at Eric, but nodded with his lips in a firm line and said, “Go on in.”

Eric hurried her through the door and they were immersed in darkness as soon as it closed behind them. There was a set of stairs directly in front of them and they had to feel their way down to the bottom where another door led to a vast room with blinding strobe lights and finding a path along the edge of the room, Eric could feel the walls vibrate with the base of the song.

“What are we doing here?” He shouted over the music to be heard.

“It was the only place I could think of to hide.” She shouted back.

A teenaged boy backed up into Alexis, making her cry out in pain when he stepped on her bare foot and she shoved him away in irritation. Eric had to wrap his arm around her waist and give the kid his best menacing look when it appeared the boy was going to shove back and then pulled her into the closest alcove when he backed down.

It was a tight space and his heart raced at how close he had to stand next to her, her back up against the wall with his to the crowd to protect her from anymore accidental injuries, and he peered down at her.

“So, do you believe me now?” He asked.

Alexis scowled up at him. “What other choice do I have?”

“Clearly not much.” He replied, allowing his lips to quirk up in a slight smirk that quickly fell. “How did you know about this place? And who was that guy at the door?” He prodded her.

“That… was Wesley. He needed legal help from my boss a few months ago and he sort of asked me out. When I told him no, he said that if I ever changed my mind to find him here.” She said with a shrug, not meeting his gaze.

The sudden urge to go back upstairs and kick Wesley’s ass flooded his body but he held it back. “Why did you tell him no?” He forced himself to ask and focus his thoughts on her instead of his anger.

“How is that any of your business? I said no for my own personal reasons, okay?” She glared up at him.

He loved it when she stood up to him and he really missed their banter while in the fringe. He could hardly believe he had her this close to him again, to see her eyes flash with defiance and his hand unconsciously took a dark curl and caressed it.

“Did it have anything to do with those romance books on your shelf?” He found himself asking, completely forgetting why they were in a night club hiding for their lives because in that moment for him they were back in Dauntless.

“Snooping, where you?” She said with an unimpressed smile and swatted his hand away. She glanced over his shoulder and froze. “I think they found us. A man is coming this way with a gun tucked in his waistband.” She whispered.

_Just one?_ He thought. He could take one on, even without the gun he had left behind. The others were probably searching the nearby streets and alleys in case they kept going to fool them and would move on to other areas after a while, but this one would stay until he was radioed away.

Eric would take care of him discreetly later, but he had an opportunity that he didn’t want to waste and placed his hands on Alexis’ hips, leaning in.

“We better look cozy then, so he doesn’t recognize us and moves on.” He whispered back, his breath blowing the loose strands of hair around her face.

“And how do you propose we’re going to do that?” She asked with the briefest glance at his lips. Eric smirked.

“Like this.” He said and closed the gap, pressing his lips against hers in a tender kiss.

She didn’t flinch away or try to stop him and he tangled his right hand in the hair at the base of her skull as he deepened it. He wanted to give her the first kiss they should have had and he felt her slide her arms around his waist.

His heart fluttered and he didn’t want to stop as every nerve of his body was on fire from the sensation, but she ended it too quickly. She looked as breathless as he felt and her gaze seemed confused when she stepped out of his arms.

Alexis cleared her throat and said, “I think he’s gone.”

Just like that the spell was broken and he was brought back to reality. He hid his disappointment and looked over his shoulder at the guy who was still searching through the crowd. His long blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, making him easy to follow.

Eric had seen him before at the Bureau but he had no idea what his name was, not that he cared. He glanced back at Alexis and told her to stay put before stealthily following the soldier through the thick throng of dancing bodies.

He found the hallway that led to the bathrooms and waited for blondie to come by and when he finally did, Eric wrapped his arm around his throat from behind and effectively cut off his air supply as he dragged him to the restroom.

Thankfully it was empty because blondie was struggling now and starting to make a racket as he kicked walls and grabbed at Eric’s arms. He found the graze on his bicep and reopened it with his nails and Eric flinched in pain. It wasn’t enough for Eric to let go, though, and the other man’s strength began to fade with each passing second.

Eric didn’t intend on killing him, there was no point in that since the Divergent already knew he was in the city, and once he passed out, Eric sat him on one of the toilets and took his gun and radio, tucking them into the front of his waistband and concealed them with his shirt.

After making sure the stall door closed to conceal the unconscious man, he went back out to the crowd. Alexis was where he left her and she looked uncomfortable as Wesley stood talking to her. Eric’s nostrils flared and his fists clenched at the sight and he stalked over, not caring if he dumped people out of the way.

“Is something wrong?” He growled behind Wesley, who nonchalantly looked at him and Alexis almost looked relieved to see him.

“I was just asking why you’d leave a beautiful girl alone in a place like this.” He replied.

“And I told you he was in the bathroom.” She interjected, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

Eric looked Wesley over. He was a head shorter than Eric was, but built strong with broad shoulders and a thick waist. His nose looked to have been broken a few times and reset so it pointed left a bit, but it didn’t seem to mar his otherwise handsome face. His reddish brown beard matched the scruffy hair on top and his green eyes pierced his own blue ones.

Judging from his appearance, Eric suspected he was once a fighter in his other lifetime before coming to the Divergent city, and his attitude suggested he was the street kind that were popular out in the fringe rather than a soldier.

“Believe me she’s just as capable of protecting herself as I am. Now if you don’t mind, we were just on our way out.” He said, giving Alexis a slight nod and made his way for the door when a strong hand grabbed his forearm.

“The way I see it, those guys outside are here for you and that’s why you were running. I came down to offer Alexis my protection, because you look like bad news, but she’s refused my offer. Why do you think that is?”

“Maybe it’s because she knows your offer of protection also comes with a price, of the sexual variety.” Eric said with disdain. He slipped the gun out from underneath his t-shirt and covertly pressed it against Wesley’s gut. “And if you’re not stupid, you’ll let me go and keep your mouth shut.”

Wesley glanced down nervously at the weapon, but he his eyes were filled with hatred when he looked back up and let him go with a shove. Alexis skirted around him and fell in step with Eric as they exited the building.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry this took SO LONG! I've just been so not in the mood to write lately, I think it's stress, and I really had to force myself to finish this chapter. I'm sorry if it sucks, guys. Feel free to review.

Alexis’ POV

The night air was cold on their skin after the crowded heat of the club and Alexis shivered when they stepped outside of the building. After scoping out the next few streets, Eric deemed them clear and she dutifully followed him around the back and hurried in the direction of the fence.

When her side began cramping and the bruises on her feet throbbed with every step she took, Alexis slumped against a brick wall in the dark alley they were in and tried to catch her breath. In his black t-shirt and pants, Eric was hard to see in the darkness and Alexis jumped when his hand grasped her elbow.

“It’s important that we keep going.” He said.

“Believe me, I know. But I won’t be able to keep going if I don’t take a breather.” She replied, massaging the stitch in her side. The back street was eerily quiet except for the whistle of wind between the buildings and her nearly naked body trembled from the chilly draft.

She couldn’t see the expression on his face, but she could hear the concern in his voice when he asked, “Are you cold?”

“Yes.” Alexis said, hoping he’d take the hint and give her his coat until she realized that he didn’t have it and must’ve left it back at the apartment. Her disappointment quickly faded when he moved in front of her, effectively blocking the wind, and wrapped his arms around her.

“What are you doing?” She asked; her arms limp at her sides.

“The only thing I can do where heat is concerned. I’ll give you five minutes and then we’re gone.” His voice rumbled beneath her ear.

His body was like a furnace and she couldn’t stop herself from hugging him back in order to maximize the absorption of his body heat as she slowly relaxed at the familiarity of his embrace.

“How did you know he’d want sexual favors?” She asked to lessen the feeling of intimacy between them.

Eric’s body tensed and he said, “I’ve seen a lot of men like him in the fringe and what they do to women, and it’s not something I want to see happen to you.”

It was clear that Eric knew just what type of man Wesley was and Alexis was slightly amazed at how accurate he was in judging people. She also agreed with him and cringed at the thought of dating Wesley.

The first time she met him, he had come to the office seeking legal counsel after being accused of forcing himself upon his girlfriend, and even though there was no evidence to prove it, Alexis could feel in her bones that he’d done it.

When he had gotten away without so much as a slap on the hand and asked her out, she vowed to stay clear of him and had completely forgotten that it was Wesley who mentioned the club before. In her haste to think of a hiding place, it was the only location that came to mind and she was thankful to have Eric with her when she realized that Wesley was there.

If there were more men like him in the Fringe, then it was definitely a dangerous place to be in, she decided. Then she remembered that Eric had come from the Fringe and stiffened.

“Are _you_ expecting anything in return for your help?” She asked, afraid of what his answer might be; wondering if she had gotten herself into a worse mess than Wesley.

He grunted and said, “I may be an asshole, but I’m not _that_ kind of asshole.”

“What kind are you then?” She found herself asking, her interest piqued.

“The kind that pushes people around when they don’t do what I want them too.”

“Why am I not surprised? You do come off as cocky and arrogant.” She said.

“Hey, you fell in love with me. What kind of person does that make you?” He responded in his defense.

Alexis looked up at him and said, “Obviously the kind that saw something good about you, because I doubt it was your winning personality that I supposedly fell in love with.”

His expression softened and he brushed her cheek with his thumb. “You’re right. I didn’t deserve you then and I might not now, but you didn’t let that stop you from seeing something in me that no one else had and I am so thankful for that… for you.”

Alexis could feel the pull between them as her body unconsciously leaned into his as he lowered his head to kiss her and it took every ounce of her will power to pull away before his lips touched hers.

She couldn’t meet his gaze again, knowing he was disappointed from the way his hold on her body stiffened at the rejection, and said, “I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be fair to let you think I might feel the same way you do about me when I can’t give you that. Not yet anyway.”

“I understand.” He gruffly replied after a moment and let his arms drop to his sides. “We better get going.” He added and took a step back.

She gave him a silent nod and tried to suppress the guilt that began to weigh heavily on her chest, but little tendrils kept crawling back up from the depths and focused her mind away from the pain she felt earlier.

It wasn’t her fault if she couldn’t remember a man who apparently loved her, so there was no reason why should she feel bad about it, but she knew what it felt like to be lonely and she hated knowing he felt it too.

Alexis followed his dark figure as it made its’ way through the abandoned streets and the buildings steadily became smaller as they left the old downtown and entered the residential areas before the fence.

Then suddenly Eric stopped her with an outstretched arm, barring her from going any further. She gave him a confused look and he put his finger against his lips before pointing to the end of the road. She had to strain her eyes, but the figures of two women walked by again and she understood as Eric tugged her behind the nearest house for cover.

“So what’s the plan? Are you going to take them out like the guy back at the club and then scale the fence, because if you haven’t noticed, we’re on the opposite side from where the gate is?” She asked from her crouched position next to his as they peered around the corner.

He glowered at her. “I know that.” He then looked back at the guards and the fence like he was analyzing the situation and frowned. “I don’t know yet.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’ve got a plan, then.”

They both jumped at the voice behind them. A man Alexis had never seen before was grinning like he found the situation funny and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“What are you doing here, Amar? I thought you were waiting for us at the gate.” Eric frowned.

“And _I_ thought you were gonna meet me at the gate, but it looks like you have other plans. Hey, Alexis,” He nodded to her in greeting and sized her up. “Geez, you look cold. Here.” He shrugged his black coat off and handed it to her.

She tentatively took it and as she put the jacket on, she looked at him closely to see if he looked familiar, but neither the tied back dread locks nor his face rang any bells. “Do we know each other?”

“We used to, for a short time. You saved my life.” He replied.

Alexis was taken aback. “I did?”

Amar opened his mouth to reply but Eric quickly butted in and repeated his question. “Why are you here?”

Amar’s amusement faded as he regarded the other man. “What’s up your ass, Eric? I thought we were helping each other.”

Eric bristled. “I don’t know _what_ you’re doing, Amar. First, you conveniently show up at the right time and claim to be on my side and then the Divergent just show up at her door looking for us when you knew all along we were there. Am I supposed to think those were coincidences?”

“Yeah, because they _are_ coincidences and I _am_ on your side.” Amar heatedly replied and then took a deep breath. “Look, Four and Mark were supposed to cover the cameras in her apartment, but obviously something went wrong. While I was waiting for you, there was excitement over the radio about their arrests and as soon as I heard the orders for your retrieval from Alexis’ place, I knew you’d run and I went into plan B mode.”

“Which is?” Eric asked.

“Find you and get you out of the city, then back to the Bureau.” He said, clearly confused as to why Eric wasn’t getting it.

“We don’t need your help.” Eric muttered before turning back to the street.

Alexis didn’t know what was wrong with him either. This guy was giving them a way out and Eric wasn’t taking it. “Eric, I think we should go with him.” She said, wanting to convince him to listen.

“We’re not going to the Bureau.” He snapped.

“If it’s the Bureau you have a problem with, trust me, Four won’t be in jail for long and it will be safe to go back, so what’s the problem?” Amar asked.

“I don’t want her anywhere near Four, that’s what!” He shouted back at him.

“Eric, man,” Amar paused in sympathy. “Four’s not trying to steal your girl from you. He knows she chose you.”

“That’s the thing. She hasn’t chosen me, not in this new life.” He said and glanced at her sadly. “Four has a chance to change her mind.”

 _What the hell is going on?_ She asked herself, startled and confused by the conversation. Who the hell was Four and what did he have to do with her feelings for Eric?

“Wouldn’t it be better to know she chose you fair and square rather than forcing the choice on her?” Amar asked him.

Eric glared at him for a long moment and Alexis flinched when he suddenly punched the wall in frustration. He didn’t cry out in pain like she would expect anyone to, but instead walked away and flexed the fingers of the hand he had just injured.

“Fine. How do you propose we get out?” He ground out when he came back.

Amar’s lips twisted upward.

***  
Eric’s POV

Amar’s plan was crazy in his opinion and although Alexis seemed okay with the idea of swimming through a man-hole sized grid into an open ocean, he didn’t feel any better about it. He’d never been submerged in a large body of water bigger than a bathtub before and it scared the shit out of him.

In the morning they would find and plunder an old sporting goods store for supplies and make their way to the beach where the city of San Francisco met the Pacific Ocean. Unlike Chicago where they cut the water off to prevent anyone from leaving by boat, here they allowed water through small grids in the bottom of the fence for leisure and fishing, according to Amar.

Eric insisted they stay the night in the house before going on such an idiotic mission so he could school his nerves and get some rest. Neither of them disagreed and they were all currently relaxing around a small fire he built in the middle of the living room floor.

Amar quickly fell asleep on a very old and dusty couch while the two of them sat against the decaying wall. Eric was staring into the flames, so deep in thought about the mission the next day that he didn’t notice Alexis watching him rub his sore knuckles and scoot closer to him until she spoke.

“Do you want some help?” She asked, indicating his hand with a nod of her head.

“Hmm? Oh… No, I’m okay.” He said, dropping his hand into his lap to prove it was fine.

She looked at him and sighed. “It’s okay to take help when you need it, Eric. I know your hand hurts, so just let me massage it for you.”

He thought about pulling away when she leaned over and took his hurt hand in hers, but changed his mind as soon as she gently added pressure along his palm. He groaned in relief and closed his eyes, letting the stress melt out of him at her touch.

“Want to tell me what’s up with this Four fellow and why you’re so against me meeting him?” She asked as she rubbed the meaty part of his thumb.

Eric cracked an eye open to look at her and thought about telling her it was none of her business, but of course it was. She had a right to know about her past and Amar was right. He couldn’t keep it from her if he wanted her to truly want to be with him.

He closed his eye again and cleared his throat. “Four’s the polar opposite of me. When I was training you to fight, Four was helping me because he was too nosy for his own good, and we both fell in love with you. You liked him because he was kind and easy to talk to whereas I just bullied you around and pushed you away. I’m not even sure why you picked me over him, because I never got a chance to ask.”

“I’m wondering why I picked you too.” She sighed. “No offence, but besides the whole sexy bad boy thing you’ve got going on, you’ve been nothing but rude to Amar, selfish in both coming for me and trying to keep me away from someone you’re afraid will steal me away when in fact I might choose neither of you, and the only thing you’ve told me about yourself and our relationship is that you’re an asshole who didn’t want me around.”

Eric angrily pulled his hand out from hers. “I get it. I’m not prince charming.” He said and got up, leaving her alone with a sleeping Amar as he left the house.

The back door closed behind him with a creak and he ferociously kicked at the crumbling cement steps before collapsing on them in his grief. Resting his arms on his bent knees, he lowered his head and concentrated on pulling all his anger, fear and pain inward with deep breaths.

He was ruining it. Sure he could tell her that he was some hero like in her romance novels who saved people, but in truth, that felt like a lie. He didn’t really save anyone; he just switched their old captor for a new one and if he took her back to the Bureau, he knew that Four would win. Kind, unselfish, compassionate, fucking, Four would get the girl like he should have the first time and Eric would be alone again. But there was nothing that he could do about it anymore except face reality.

He was so tired of this shit. Tired of running; tired of fighting to save others and trying to survive. Was it so bad that he wanted something for himself for once? He hastily swiped at the tear that trickled down his face and stared out at the stars.

***  
Alexis’ POV

Alexis watched him from the kitchen window as he sat there looking utterly defeated and miserable. Why did I have to open my big mouth?

“He’s not so bad you know. I mean, everything you said is true,” Amar said and yawned as he approached from the living room and stood next to her by the window, “he can be a real dick, but he has his redeeming qualities too.”

“Like what?” She asked, hoping to understand the mystery of Eric.

“It’s probably not my place to tell you if Eric won’t, but Four might be inclined to tell you if you asked him.” Amar winked at her.

“Good, because I intend to have a nice long chat with him when I finally meet him.” She replied, watching Eric intently.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for the kudos and for reading this story! Also I love to read any reviews, they give me the extra oomph to write faster.

Alexis’ POV

The sound of birds singing floated through the broken window in the living room and slowly woke Alexis up. She felt so cozy, snuggled up against someone’s warm body that she didn’t want to get up; then her eyes snapped open when it dawned on her where she was.

Last night she fell asleep curled up beneath Amar’s coat on the floor beside the fire, that was now burned out, while Amar went back onto the couch and Eric was still outside brooding. Except now, Eric’s face was mere inches from hers’ and his features were relaxed with sleep. The weight of his arm draped over her waist was comforting and their legs were entwined.

There was someone behind her too and she rolled over enough to spy Amar with his back to hers and his coat was spread out over all of them, though she got the majority of it being in the middle. They must have crawled over in the middle of the night to share warmth.

Even though it was the beginning of June and the days were getting warmer out, the nights were still cool, especially inside a home with broken windows and no heat, and Alexis didn’t want to leave the nice cocoon they created around her. She snuggled closer to Eric and fell back asleep.

Sometime later, deep voices lifted the fogginess of sleep and she realized she was alone again on the floor. The guys were in the other room and from the tone of their voices Alexis thought maybe they were arguing.

“I just said that I would help you get her there, but after that I’m gone.”

“Eric, you can’t just leave us, we _need_ you.” Amar argued.

“Need me for what? You have Four and soon Alexis. You don’t need me around to fuck it up again.” Eric shot back.

“You’re just going to abandon Alexis after all the trouble you went through to get her back?”

There was a pause and then Eric said, “I thought about it last night and she’s better off without me. She was my responsibility last time and she almost died before losing her memory. Besides, if I go back there her brother is going to try to kill me and I’d hate to have to hurt him in front of her.”

Amar chuckled derisively. “If you’re that confident that everyone holds you accountable for the betrayal that someone _else_ did without _no one_ knowing about it, then fine, quit. Give up and run away from conflict like some Pansycake. We don’t need cowards anyway.”

There was a sound of bone meeting flesh and a painful grunt that clearly indicated that Eric had hit Amar with his fist and Alexis saw the angry red welt on his cheek to match his expression when Amar walked back into the living room and spotted her awake.

He gave her a sheepish smile and said, “Rise and shine, time to go swimming.”  
***

  
They broke into two sports stores that morning and came up empty handed each time. Everything was cleaned out and they expected they had been since the Purity War, but they did manage to find some sort of tool that Amar claimed would open the grate on the fence in Home Depot.

They were on their way to the beach next where the only operational sporting goods store was and Alexis noticed that it became harder to hide as they got closer to the city center.

Too many people were out now and their chances of getting caught were increasing; Alexis glanced at the gun tucked into the back of Eric’s waist band. He hadn’t used it once since acquiring it, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t and she prayed he wouldn’t have to. She didn’t want to see anyone die.

Surprisingly there weren’t any Dauntless soldiers roaming around, from what she could see anyway, and only the occasional police officer was spotted doing their usual thing. They must have been focusing their efforts around the fence that was on land and a weight lifted off her shoulders at the thought that maybe Amar’s plan would really work. But first they needed to get those supplies.

“There it is.” She said, pointing out the small building that was still closed up across the street.

It was still too cool out in the mornings for anyone to want to go out in the water and so it wouldn’t open for another hour at this time in the season and they sprinted across the road.

Eric used the butt end of his pistol to smash the padlock open and lifted the metal curtain up before entering. The rest of them quickly followed and were surprised to find a woman inside, standing frozen behind the cash register.

“We’re… closed.” She stuttered.

“We know.” Eric said as he approached her and knocked her out with his fist.

She fell to the floor, unconscious, and Alexis cried, “Eric! You just hit a girl!” and rushed over to see if the woman hurt her head when she fell.

“So?” He asked and when Alexis glared at him he rolled his eyes. “It was either knock her out or shoot her, which would you have preferred?”

Alexis pursed her lips and looked down at her, knowing she couldn’t argue with that and heard him mutter behind her as he searched the merchandise, “That’s what I thought.”

Mumbling something about him being a complete dick to herself, she checked the woman’s blonde hair for any blood or bumps and not finding anything, used a nearby towel as a pillow and rested her head on it.

There wasn’t much to choose from because the store was small and only rented out equipment for the day, but Amar did find two small air tanks and three masks while Eric tossed her a waterproof bag stuffed with towels. She deftly caught it from the air and helped Amar put the tool in it too.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Eric said and peeked through the window to make sure no one was around.

It didn’t take him long to assess the area and before Alexis knew it, he was already out the door. She and Amar quickly followed behind towards the stack of canoes waiting by the water.

“What’s up with him?” She asked Amar as she watched Eric’s shoulders getting tenser the closer he got to the edge of the beach.

“What’s not wrong with him?” Amar muttered back, clearly still miffed about getting punched.

Alexis let out a sigh and kept her mouth shut. She never bothered to ask what they were arguing about earlier because she didn’t feel like getting in between some mucho male fight, and she definitely didn’t have time to now either.

They caught up with him and dumped their stuff on the sand. Amar picked up one of the air tanks and said, “Since there’s only two tanks and three of us, we’ll have to share. I suggest Alexis sharing with one of us since she’s smaller and will take up less oxygen.”

Eric nodded and said, “She can share with me. You’ll be too busy getting that grate off anyway.”

“Okay. So, these emergency air tanks are only meant for getting you back to the surface if you were to run out of air on a normal tank, which means they only hold a few minutes’ worth of air. I suggest using them as little as possible because we have to get to the fence which is about 50 meters out and then 10 feet down to get to the grate.” Amar said.

“That’s too far for two of us to share a few minutes of air.” Eric said, rather grumpily.

Amar looked annoyed. “I know. That’s why we’re not using them to get to the fence, just down and out. The plan is: once we’re in the water we’ll float along the shore on our backs so only our faces are showing and we can breathe at the same time. When we finally get there we’ll use the tanks to dive down to the grate and I will use this baby to cut the bars and we can swim out and back to land on the other side of the wall. Got it?” He said, lifting up the bag with the tool in it.

“Have you ever used one of those things before?” Eric asked, skeptically.

“Nope, but I was shown extensive footage on how to use them back at the Bureau when we came up with this plan though.” Amar cheerfully admitted.

“Great.” Eric muttered and turned away, clearly agitated.

Alexis had her own misgivings about it too, but what other choice did they have? Amar cutting off one of his fingers by accident was probably the best chance they had in getting out of there alive.

When there were no further questions they waded their way into the water, with Amar in the lead and Eric bringing up the tail, and submerged themselves as quickly as they could. Alexis shivered at the cold temperature of the murky water but thankfully held in her whimper as she turned into her back and floated, using her hands to slowly push her body backwards.

Currents in the bay were basically non-existent on this side of the fence but small waves still rolled over them every once in a while from the wind and splashed Alexis in the eyes and mouth. She tried her best to keep the water out of her eyes and was able to keep them open, but she soon gave up on her mouth and breathed through her nose instead.

With the water also covering her ears most of the time, everything was muffled and the sound of her own breathing soon relaxed her. She felt like she was floating on a cloud high up in the sky as she glided through the water.

It was when the water lowered for a second before another wave came that she heard it. It sounded like a whale puffing air out of its blow hole nearby and she realized that it was coming from Eric. Peeking over at him he appeared as calm and relaxed as she, except for the way he was breathing through his mouth.

If she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was trying to keep fear at bay, but from what she thought she knew of him, she didn’t think he was scared of anything at all. And if he was… she wasn’t sure she wanted to think about it. He was supposed to be the tough guy who kept her alive.

The fence came up sooner than she thought it would and Alexis treaded water with Amar as they waited for Eric. He ran into the wall with a small bump to the head and promptly tried to grab the wall for support but coming up empty handed he reached out to Amar and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders. Amar sunk a little from the added weight but swiftly compensated for it and held steady as he looked at Eric rather confused.

“Are you okay, Eric?” He asked.

“Of course I am.” Eric barked in reply and yanked his mask over his face with one hand. “Let’s go.”

Alexis exchanged a worried look with Amar before they both put their masks on too and sucked in a deep breath of air and allowed themselves to sink into the cloudy water.

Eric hadn’t let Amar go and with their combined weight, they sank faster than Alexis did and she watched as they reached the bottom and Amar began unpacking the cordless underwater angle grinder they miraculously found earlier.

When she got to the bottom, she took her first breath from the tank and passed it to Eric and they watched as the bars began to fall off the grate one by one. Amar was working on the last one when Alexis took the last bit of air and she got worried. They still needed to swim through the hole in the fence and back up to the surface before they could breathe real air again and Eric was already fidgeting.

As soon as all the bars were gone, Eric pushed her out first and then pulled himself through before Amar followed and swam to shore like there was a shark on his tail. Alexis was trailing him at a good pace too, until she noticed that Eric wasn’t nearby.

She turned and spotted him still by the grate, flailing in an attempt to rise to the surface, and she went back for him but half way there he suddenly jerked and opened his mouth. Air bubbles escaped in a flurry around his face as he involuntarily exhaled and Alexis panicked.

He was going to drown.

His body lurched again as he inhaled water and he slowly relaxed. Full of fear, Alexis pushed her body to reach him sooner and wrapped her arms underneath his armpits to try and drag him over to shore but he was heavy.

She did manage to get him to the surface though and she called out to Amar, who was already on the beach, for help. He jumped right back in when he realized what was going on and together they pulled Eric’s unconscious body onto the sand.

Alexis immediately opened Eric’s mouth to see if there was any water inside and finding none she jutted his jaw out and checked to see if he was magically breathing, which he was not.

“Tell me if his chest rises, okay?” She said and pinching his nose closed, she covered her mouth over his lips and blew as hard as she could.

She blew a second time and when Amar said his chest moved, she checked his neck for a pulse and found a faint one. There was no need for CPR if his heart was beating so she kept blowing into his mouth until he finally coughed water into hers.

Instinctively leaning back to spit the gross water out, Alexis let Amar roll Eric onto his side so he could keep draining his lungs of the offending liquid. He eventually vomited the rest out and then slumped back onto the ground, breathing heavily.

Exhausted, Alexis pulled her knees out from under her and sat on the rocky beach. Eric’s t-shirt clung to his torso and accentuated every curve of muscle as his chest rose and fell as he panted and she asked, “Are you okay, Eric?”

He coughed a few more times and nodded. Alexis leaned over in anger and punched him on the arm. “Then what the fuck, Eric?! Why didn’t you tell us you couldn’t swim?”

He groaned in pain and lethargically reached over to rub his bicep. “We would have been stuck inside the city if we didn’t do it.” He replied, his voice sounding raspy.

“Well, it would have been better than you drowning!” She shouted at him. “At the very least, we could have helped you swim. But you’d rather die than get help, wouldn’t you?”

Eric didn't respond. Instead he rolled over and grabbed the bag with the towels and began pulling them out. He tossed one to each of them and then wrapped his around himself.

The air was cold on her skin but she hadn't noticed until now and her body started to shake. Yanking the towel off the ground, she pulled it over her shoulders and hugged her knees close to her chest. She was mad. Mad at Eric for being a stubborn idiot, at herself for not seeing the signs sooner, and at the situation. How much longer until it was all over, she wondered.


	6. Chapter 6

Eric’s POV

“I’ve got a vehicle stashed some ways away from the city.” Amar announced as they jogged into the brush in damp clothing.

“Does it have enough gas to get back to Chicago? I don’t feel like wandering in the wilderness for another year.” Eric said, walking over fallen branches and years of growth now that they had decided to leave the exposure of the beach.

“Yeah.” He replied and slowed down to keep pace with Alexis, who was stumbling around in her bare feet.

Behind him, he could hear Amar offer to carry Alexis the rest of the way and he found that he just wasn’t in the mood to be jealous. His chest ached like a son of a bitch and all he wanted to do was lay down, but he couldn’t until they found that car. He was only half-listening when they began small talk beside him with Alexis on Amar’s back.

“How did you know how to do that?” Amar asked her.

“Do what?” She replied.

“That mouth thing you did to Eric.” He clarified.

“Oh… I don’t know.”

Still somewhat listening, Eric absentmindedly suggested, “You probably learned it in Amity. They have a pond there.”

“Speaking of ponds, how do you not know how to swim?” Amar turned on him. Alexis looked at him expectantly too.

Eric rolled his eyes and grumpily replied, “The only large body of water in Dauntless is the chasm and I wasn’t about to jump in just to learn how to swim.”

“Then how did you bathe while out in the fringe? You had to use lakes and stuff.” Amar added as he stopped Alexis slipping off by bouncing her up once.

“I only ever went in knee deep.” He growled, feeling the back of his neck heat up from embarrassment.

A dull ache between his shoulder blades was beginning to accompany the sharp pains in his chest with each breath he took and he quickly tuned the others out as he tried to follow the path ahead of him.

“Over here!” Amar called to him later on when Eric hadn’t noticed he’d steered off to the left and stumbled to a halt so he could catch up.

The jeep was hidden behind a large bush and Alexis slipped off Amar’s back as he began digging around in his pockets for the keys, suddenly cursing when he came up empty handed.

“Shit. I must have dropped the keys in the bay.” He said, uselessly searching the ground for them.

Unfazed, Eric picked up a large tree branch that had fallen to the ground and used it to smash in the driver’s window, making the other two jump in surprise at the sound of the glass shattering into millions of pieces. He reached in and unlocked the door, then hopped into the seat and proceeded to hot wire the truck to life, oblivious to the shards beneath him.

“There.” Eric announced over the rumbling of the engine and crawled over the front seats to flop onto his back in the rear of the vehicle. It wasn’t the most comfortable of places, but it would do the job and he closed his eyes.

With him taking up the entire back seat, Alexis took the passenger side as Amar brushed the glass off his seat and got behind the wheel. With the jeep already vibrating with life, Amar put it into drive and Eric rocked back into the seat with the sudden forward movement.

They sped through the forest in silence, often looking behind them for pursuers, and the motion of the jeep eventually rocked Eric to sleep.  
***

  
Eric opened his eyes in a daze at the sound of someone’s voice, “He’s burning up, Amar. We need to find a doctor.”

He heard a distant reply about Chicago and then felt a hand brushing his face. Eric tried to roll onto his side, but the position only increased the ache in his chest and he fell back with a groan which then turned into a coughing fit.

“Does your chest hurt?” She asked him when it was over, gently rubbing his chest. He only managed to grunt in response because his heavy lids were already closing as he fell back asleep.  
***

  
“Cold.” He muttered, waking up again sometime later and realized he was freezing. He clutched at the thin fabric of the dry towels they had wrapped him up in, but they were doing nothing for him.

“Amar... Amar!” Alexis hissed behind him. There was a smack of flesh and a surprised grunt after that.

“What?”

“Eric’s cold.” She replied.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Came Amar’s sleepy voice.

“Go and lay down with him.”

“He’s not my type.”

“I’m not asking you to sleep with him.” She said, sounding annoyed. “Just keep him warm with your body heat.”

“Fine, but it’s only because you’re driving and I’m tired.” He said and Eric listened to the creak of the seat as Amar squeezed his way through to the back and snuggled himself behind Eric’s back; too tired to protest himself.  
***

  
Chatter and the hum of machinery permeated the air and pulled Eric out of his slumber. He was back in the Bureau’s infirmary, laying in one of the many used beds, and he looked over at the nurses who were talking by the exit.

“Hey.” He called out to them and they both glanced over.

The older blonde nurse whispered something to the brunette before approaching him. “It’s good to see that you’re awake. How are you feeling?” She asked him.

“I’ve been worse.” He said, eyeing her up. _What am I doing in the Bureau without being cuffed? Isn’t David trying to kill me?_ He wondered. “Where’s Alexis?”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure we can track her down for you after Four comes.” She replied.

“I thought Four was rotting in a cell.”

The woman didn’t even bat an eyelash and said, “Oh, he was but it didn’t last long. Your pneumonia lasted longer than his imprisonment did.”

“Pneumonia? How long have I been out?” He asked, startled by the information.

“Nearly two days.”

_Two fucking days?!_

“The doctor found a mild bacterial infection in your lungs when you arrived and got you on antibiotics straight away,” She explained, “and from prior knowledge of you, we decided to sedate you while you healed.”

“Would you say I’m well enough to get up and take a proper piss now that I am awake?” He sneered at the woman.

Her lips tugged at the corner. “Doctor cleared you this morning, but first I’ll have to take out your catheter and you’ll need to pee like normal for…”

“Fuck that shit.” He said and began to slowly pull the tube out of his junk at the nurse’s dismay. He grimaced at the odd sensation.

“Mr. Coulter, I must insist you stay in bed.” She said when he then whipped the blankets back and stood up.

Eric had to steady himself with the edge of the bed when he swayed at the sudden dizziness from the tranquilizer but once his head cleared he demanded his clothes.

“They’re under the bed, but Four wanted to talk to you before you were discharged.” She said, trying to coax him to lie back down.

He ignored her pleas and snatched his dirty clothes from the stool beneath the bed and began shoving them on. “If Four wants to talk to me then he can come find me.” He said as he exited the infirmary.

He was in the shower when Four finally found him. “You forgot these.” He said as he tossed a bottle of pills at Eric.

They slipped out of his fingers the first time he tried to catch them, but his reflexes were quick and he snatched them before they fell to the shower floor.

“What are they for?” He asked through the spray of water.

“Your antibiotics; Doctor said you had to take one a day until they’re all gone. You’d know that if you’d stuck around long enough, but Nancy gave them to me when I showed up to find you’d gone.” Four said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall across from the shower stall.

“Thanks, now if you don’t mind…” Eric said turning around and scrubbing his chest, but Four didn’t budge.

“Amar tells me that you plan to leave.”

“Amar should mind his own business.” Eric retorted with his back still turned to him.

“He’s just doing his job.” Four defended his friend.

“Yeah? Like how you were supposed to keep David off our back?” He snapped and then added, “How did you get out of jail anyway?”

Four pushed himself off the wall and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “While you were gone I managed to find a large number of people who doubted David’s story of what happened and when we found out the truth we convinced a lot more to join us.

“When they arrested Mark and I, our friends took it upon themselves to get us out and let’s just say that David trusted Duncan more than he should have. They erased his memory with the same serum he gave Alexis and we took over power by morning.”

“That’s why no one was trying to follow us out of the city.” Eric concluded to himself. He had noticed the lack of security the next morning on the way to the beach and cursed. “So I almost drowned for nothing.”

“Yeah, that. We tried to get a hold of Amar to notify him of the situation but we couldn’t get through.” Four said apologetically.

“That’s because I told him to turn it off.” Eric said, turning off the water and grabbing his towel off the hook. “I didn’t trust that you wouldn’t be out for my neck either.”

Four chuckled in disbelief. “Why would you think that? I’m the one who helped you get close to Alexis without David knowing until that last mishap.”

“Because, if I was in your position I’d be doing everything I could to take out the competition.” He admitted.

Four frowned. “Didn’t Amar tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Eric asked, exasperated.

“That I’m married.”

Eric paused and frowned in confusion. “You’re what?”

“Married. To Natalie’s daughter, Beatrice.” He replied.

Eric was dumbfounded. “When did that happen?”

Four sighed and leaned back again. “Natalie got her family out of the city the day after we failed and it took some time but I fell in love with Beatrice and we got married two months ago.”

“And David was okay with that?”

“We had to keep it a secret because she’s Divergent, so we limited our interactions with each other and kept our separate apartments, but now that I’m in charge she’s moving in.” Four explained with a small smile.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

“I’m telling you for Alexis’ sake. It’s not up to you to decide whether or not you deserve her, it’s up to her and she loved you too once; she might again if you give her a chance.” Four said.

Eric rolled his eyes and turned away. “If only I knew how to give her a chance. I don’t even know how it happened the first time.” He said pulling his shirt over his head.

“You want to know the trick to getting a woman to fall in love with you? Make her feel special by letting her know the things about you that no one else does… and not being an asshole to her.”

“Neither of those things happened last time.”

“Not true. You might still have been a dick, but she did warm up to you when she found out the truth. Suddenly you were the good guy and it was a secret only she knew, besides me.” Four said.

Eric paused button his pants and thought about it. Maybe there was enough truth in Four’s words worth trying. “Fine. I’ll stick around.” He said, giving in to his heart rather than his head.

“Good, because I need you to retrain her.”

Eric glanced at him quickly. “Why can’t you do it?”

“I’m too busy running this place now and I don’t think Beatrice would appreciate it if I spent too much time with her.” Four admitted. “Plus, you were always the better one at pissing her off.” He added with a smirk.

“How is that going to help me not be an asshole?”

“That’s your problem to solve.” Four said, clapping him on the shoulder and then left him alone to finish up.  
***

  
Alexis’ POV **2 days before**

Without blankets to keep him warm or medicine to control his fever, Eric got worse with each passing hour and she was getting worried, but after 30 hours of continuous driving they finally made it to the famous Bureau.

Amar ran into the building to see if it was safe for them to enter while she stayed in the truck with Eric and five minutes later he came back out with a group of men who then carried Eric’s unconscious form inside.

She was far too focused on Eric to notice her surroundings at first and when they reached the infirmary she was stopped by the nurses and told to wait outside while the doctor checked him.

Amar had disappeared somewhere along the way and she found herself sitting alone in the corridor. It was quiet, eerily so, and it gave her the creeps with its’ clean white washed walls and tiled flooring. Nothing felt warm about this place. Bored, she got up and peeked through the window in the door. Most of the beds were taken up by others but far to the left was Eric with the doctor and a nurse conferring next to his bed.

“Wouldn’t let you in, huh?”

Alexis jumped at the new voice and found a man with dark hair and brown eyes standing behind her as he also looked in.

“No, they wouldn’t.” She replied, watching him as something familiar tickled the back of her mind.

“They’ve been pretty busy the last 24 hours since the takeover; I don’t blame them for wanting fewer distractions in there.” He said.

“Who are you?” She finally asked, the curiosity getting to her.

He looked at her with a small smile. “I’m Four.”

Alexis’ eyebrows rose in surprise. “The Four?”

The light in his eyes dimmed a bit as his smile faltered. “Eric tell you bad things about me?”

“Um…” She mumbled, shaking her head, “no, actually. I guess I was just expecting someone more like Eric. You know, visible tattoos and piercings and stuff…”

“Yeah,” He chuckled and rubbed the back on his neck, “you can say I’m not quite as Dauntless as he and the others are...” He replied and they fell into an awkward silence.

This was the other guy who was supposedly also in love with her and she wasn’t sure if he was expecting her to jump into his arms and run away together or not.

“You’re not still in love with me… are you?” She finally broached the subject.

“He mentioned that did he?” Four said, looking even more uncomfortable. “There was a time where I was in love with you, and I do love you to an extent now, but it’s been a year and I fell for someone else.”

Relief flooded through her body and she visibly relaxed. “Oh, good. I’ve already got my hands full with him.” She said, waving at Eric’s unconscious form in the other room.

“You do.” He agreed. “When he sets his mind on something, he does everything it takes to succeed.” He said looking down at her.

“Tell me about it. He nearly drowned just so we could escape and now look at him!” Alexis exclaimed, still pissed off about what he did. “What kind of idiot does that?”

“One in love.” He simply replied, making her pause.

“Can you tell me what kind of man Eric is or was? He said I loved him back, but I don’t remember it. Obviously, it would be nice to know something about him that isn’t him telling me he’s a selfish asshole.”

Four chuckled. “I can do better than tell you, I can show you.”  
***

**so, what did you all think? Hope it was okay. I just want to say that I know it can be tough to take the time to leave reviews, but believe me, they help. They tell us writers whether or not the story is going in a direction that you find interesting, what you want to see more or less of, and they give us the will to write faster because we KNOW, rather than guess, that you guys are waiting for us to continue. So please leave a review! I'd love to hear from you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry I had to redo this chapter because I was so stuck that I didn't know where to go with the story after it.  
> While writing chapter 8, I realized I had to change 7 for continuity and so I put both chapters together and you get a really long one!  
> Anyway, I'm still a little confused on how I want them to feel about each other and I spent a long time trying to figure it out, but please forgive me if it gets a bit confusing and please DO TELL ME if it does get confusing, because I'm just tired of looking at it to see if it's still making sense.

Alexis’ POV

Four briefly went in to talk to the doctor before leading her to another area of the building and a room filled with computer monitors. A young man with blonde hair was sitting at one of the many desks and when he turned at their entrance he sprung up out of his chair.

“Alexis.” He said with a mixture of amazement and relief, and then he rushed over and hugged her.

She reluctantly returned the embrace and asked, “Uh, do I know you too?”

“Alexis, this is your brother, Mark.” Four introduced her to the man wrapped around her shoulders.

She was speechless. She never had family that she knew of before and it was… weird, but she tightened her hold on him anyway.

“I’m so excited that you’re finally back.” Mark said letting her go and staring into her similar eyes. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

“Yeah we do.” She breathlessly agreed with a nod.

“Mark, can you bring up the videos of her time at Dauntless? I promised to show her.” Four asked.

Mark rubbed his brow. “Are you sure? It wasn’t exactly a pleasant time to remember.” He said more to Four than to her.

“What do you mean? I thought it was just training.” She said and got nervous when the boys shared a look. “What’s going on?” She asked as her gaze bounced between them.

Four gestured for her to sit down in Mark’s vacated seat and when she did he said, “Eric may not have explained the whole situation to you, probably because he knew you wouldn’t like it. Did he at least mention the Factions and Divergents?”

Alexis nodded. “A little bit. At the time I thought he was probably delusional since he was basically half starved to death, but being shot at kind of changed my mind. So, everything he said about me being Divergent and people wanting me dead for it was true?”

“Yes, it is.” He somberly replied. “Jeanine Matthews is in charge of Erudite and she has been searching for your kind for years because Divergents don’t conform to the Factions system, which is true because the largest Divergent population is with the Factionless, and without the Factions the city will end up in chaos.”

“But my city works just fine without them.” She commented.

“That’s because everyone in your city has the ability to empathize with each other, be kind and the like; Non-Divergents can’t. Chicago was built to stop violence by giving people a purpose suited to their personality and surrounding them with similar peers to limit conflict. Adding someone like you to a faction could disrupt that peace. For example, you were in Amity and even though you’re kind and forgiving, it’s only up to a point, after that you would turn to anger and violence which is a Dauntless trait.”

Alexis looked between the boys and said, “How did I stay in Amity so long without being noticed then?”

Four shrugged slightly. “Some people are better at adapting and faking it than others but for those who don’t, that’s where initiation comes in. It weeds out the people who don’t truly belong and they end up Factionless.”

“So, if I was doing such a good job at faking being Amity, how’d I end up in Dauntless with Eric?”

“You slipped up and Eric caught you beating up a girl from Dauntless. Being in Amity, he knew that meant you had to be Divergent and since he was working with Jeanine, he arrested you.” He explained.

She narrowed her eyes at him in confusion. “He was working with her? Why didn’t he kill me then?”

“He needed you, plain and simple. Eric was double crossing Jeanine, because instead of killing the Divergents he was helping them to escape by faking their deaths, but you’re the strongest Divergent in the city’s history with a natural instinct to fight. He thought you would make a good leader for the other Divergents and decided to keep you hidden within Dauntless and trained you for war.”

“Okay… So, what’s so unsettling about it, then?”

Four sat on the edge of the table next to hers and said, “When it became clear that anger was a good motivator for you to fight, he exploited it by making you believe he would kill you. He kept you prisoner and…”

“He pushed you off a building. Not to mention the fact that he often told you he was going to use you to kill all the other Divergents…” Mark butted in.

“Mark.” Four scowled at him.

“What?” He asked; his eyebrows arched as he shrugged his shoulders in feigned innocence.

Alexis ignored them, her mind wandering, and said in disbelief, “And I fell for this guy?”

“Hard to believe isn’t it?” Her brother said, “Especially after you tried to kill him first. I’m so proud of you, sis.” He nudged her in the shoulder with his fist.

“I did?”

“Okay, Mark, why don’t you stop talking for a while.” Four suggested, giving his friend a glare.

“Fine.” He mumbled and sat down in another chair with a pout on his fine boned features.

“Look, Alexis.” Four leaned in and said to her, “Obviously I can’t explain your feelings for Eric to you because you never confided in me about them. All I know is that in the end you turned me down for him and the best we can do now is show you what happened through the security camera footage and that’s hardly insight into your mind.”

Alexis was having a hard time deciphering how she felt about all this information to start with. Mark made it sound like Eric was a monster, even if it was for a good reason, but her heart was telling her that he couldn’t have been that bad if she loved him, so maybe he was over exaggerating.

“Fine, show me.” She finally said as she swiveled her chair so it faced the computer screen.  
***

  
Four days after arriving

When it was explained to Alexis what David had done and that they needed help at another attempt to stop Jeanine, she agreed whole heartedly but it also meant she had to train with Eric again and she wasn’t sure it was the best idea.

Watching him scare her for his purposes really bothered her, although she understood the necessity of it, but that wasn’t the only problem. Simply being near him made her uncomfortable because she felt pressured to remember and she just couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried, and she knew she would only get his hopes up if they spent too much time together.

With a deep calming breath, she pushed the door to the training room open and spotted Eric sitting like a statue on the bench but he came back to life when he noticed her standing there and stood up.

It was the first time she’d seen him awake since the ride there and for some reason her stomach began fluttering at how good he looked in his tight black t-shirt and black training pants that emphasized the length of his long toned legs.

“It’s good to see you feeling better.” She said as she stepped into the room.

“Yeah, I’ll be happy when I can stop taking the antibiotics because they taste like shit.” He said and she suppressed a smile.

“So… What are you going to teach me today?” She asked, feeling awkward as she stood there swinging her fist into her palm.

“I figured we’d just get into it and see where to go from there, but first I want to be clear on some things.” He said looking nervous but resolved.

“That you’re an asshole? You’ve already told me, a few times actually… plus I saw the videos, and you were not lying. I’m pretty sure I’ve got enough beefs with you now that I won’t mind hitting you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She reassured him. “Plus, I’m sort of interested in seeing what I can do too.”

Eric nodded. “Okay, now that we’re on the same page, I guess I can kick your ass into the ground.”

Alexis rolled her eyes and stepped onto the mat with him. She knew what kind of fighting style to expect from him after watching the videos but they didn’t prepare her for how hard and fast he really was and she was taken by surprise when he swiftly knocked her off her feet.

The back of her head hit the mat hard and she cried out in pain. Eric was immediately on her, checking for blood in concern and she used the distraction to punch him in the face. His head jerked backwards from the force and she pushed him over so she could have time to get up.

She was actually astonished that she reacted that quickly, even though her head was throbbing, and wondered if she really did remember all her previous training. Four said she probably would, subconsciously.

Eric chuckled down on the floor. “I see how it’s going to be,” He said casually picking himself up, “and I can play dirty too.”

Her nerves increased when she saw the gleam of mischief in his eyes. She couldn’t actually recall any moves but thankfully her body seemed to as she blocked a punch at her midriff and then another at her face, but she was nowhere near as fast or strong as Eric was and he eventually got the best of her as he caught her leg when she went to kick him and jabbed her in the ribs a few times and then flipped her back onto the mat again. Alexis groaned and clutched her side as she lay there in pain.

“You’re weak.” He stated as he stood over her and shook his head. “All that previous training wasted sitting behind a desk for a year. At least in Amity you were strong.”

Alexis’ cheeks flushed with anger at the insult and she swept her leg out at him. He fell with a heavy thump and laid beside her in silence as a smirk played on his lips.  
***

  
Her head ached, her ribs throbbed and her arms felt like Jell-O as she walked down the hallway to her apartment. After their fight, Eric had her do weight training all afternoon and now that the day was over and dinner was stuffed into her stomach, all she wanted to do was sleep for a week.

“Hey.” Mark said, sneaking up behind her and she swung her head to look at him in surprise.

“Oh. Hey.” She replied.

“How did training go?” He asked, putting his arm around her.

“I think I’m internally bleeding.” She grimaced at the added weight on her shoulders.

Mark laughed at that. “That well, huh? Eric was always pretty tough. Here, let’s go to the infirmary and get you all fixed up.”

“But I want to sleep, Mark.”

“Trust me, you’ll feel worse in the morning if you don’t get patched up tonight.”

“Fine.” She grumbled and followed him the other part of the building.

The infirmary was almost empty now that most of the injured soldiers were back up on their feet and the ones who agreed to follow the new regime were allowed to go home while the ones, who didn’t, joined the rest of David’s old followers in the cells.

Fortunately for David, though, he was granted freedom between his apartment, the cafeteria and the other common areas because his memories were erased, but he was forbidden to enter any of the monitor rooms or labs and was watched constantly.

They walked passed him on their way into the infirmary and Mark’s eyes narrowed at his retreating back. Alexis caught the look and asked, “Who’s that?”

“David.”

Oh… She looked back at him too and didn’t think she saw the manipulative man they described to her. In fact he looked sad and lonely.

“What did you guys tell him when you erased his memory?” She asked.

“Something about being a rescued enemy who changed sides before the real fighting began. Personally, I think he got off too easy.” Mark grudgingly replied. He pushed the door open and the smell of alcohol and antiseptic wafted out.

Alexis hated hospitals. She didn’t know if it was because of the smell or the cold and sterile ambience they always had but they always made her uneasy and the Bureau’s infirmary was no different. She let one of the nurses take her over to an empty bed and sat down on it.

The young woman looked her over and in a gentle voice said, “Why don’t you tell me what’s the matter.”

“I feel pretty sore whenever I try to move my upper body and my head is throbbing.”

“Hmm.” She frowned. “And what exactly did you do to them?” The nurse asked as she lifted up the corner of Alexis’ shirt.

“She started her training with Eric today.” Mark explained with a tone that said it was self-explanatory and it obviously was, because the woman nodded and hummed in agreement.

“I remember you two. I guess that means I’ll be seeing you both more often, then won’t I?” She said as she prodded Alexis’ tender ribcage, ignoring her grimaces, and then moved on to check her head.

“Yeah, I guess it does.” Alexis replied.

The nurse finished her examinations and took a step back. “Well, it doesn’t appear that you’ve broken anything. There is a bump on the back of your head and bruising will appear on your ribs tomorrow, but those are manageable. I can give you some pain medication for the headache but if you’re going to be training everyday then I would suggest something stronger for your ribs.”

“Sure.” Alexis said, adjusting her shirt and the woman nodded and left to retrieve something from one of the cabinets.

She calmly watched as the nurse found a vial of clear liquid in the back and then injected a syringe into the top to extract some of the medication, but it was when she turned toward Alexis with it that she understood that the nurse planned to stick her with the needle. She felt the room tilt quite suddenly and, not knowing why, an intense fear slowly rose up in her chest. She wanted to tell the woman to stop but she couldn’t get any words out past the shallow gulps of air she involuntarily took.

The nurse’s face instantly grew concerned and beside Alexis she heard Mark say, “Oh, shit.” He gripped her shoulders hard and peered down at her. “Hey, it’s okay.” He tried to calm her, but she couldn’t control it and that made her fear worse.

“What happened?” The woman asked as she approached but jumped back when Alexis slapped at the needle in her hand.

Mark grabbed her arms and said, “She’s having a panic attack. She had them a lot when she was a kid and then they went away for a long time.”

“Alright, Alexis I need you to place your head between your knees and take deep calming breaths.” The nurse told her but she was beyond reasoning now and she clutched at her chest, desperately trying to calm her breathing to no avail. The edges of her vision where becoming blurry and the need to get away was so great that she tried to free herself from Mark’s grip.

“I’ve never seen her have one this bad before.” Her brother said, his voice full of fear.

“Did she have any calming methods for her previous episodes?” The nurse asked Mark.

It was as if a light bulb went off in his head and he said, “Yeah. I’ll be back.” And he ran off.  
***

Eric’s POV

Eric was running through the halls, leaving Mark far behind. He knew it wasn’t a life or death situation, at most she’d pass out and feel sick afterward, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling protective and wanting to be there for her.

He skidded to a halt at the door and pushed it open to find he was too late. Alexis had already fainted and was lying on the bed with the nurse hovering over her with a needle in hand.

“Get that away from her.” He said to the woman who looked up at him, startled.

“It’s just pain medication for her ribs.”

“I don’t care what it is. She hates needles, why do you think she freaked out on you?” He said, yanking it out of her hands. “Find me something I can rub on her instead.”

The nurse pursed her lips. “I don’t see you in a doctor’s coat, Eric, and even though you’re friends with Four I don’t have to take orders from you.”

Eric glared down at her. “What’s your name?”

“It’s Trudi.” She replied.

“Well, Trudi. If you don’t start listening to what I say then I would be inclined to make your life very difficult. Do you understand me?”

Trudi glared back up at him. “You don’t have authority here anymore.”

“Try me.” He challenged.

After a moment’s hesitation she spun on her heel and went to find him a cream for Alexis, leaving them alone. Eric turned back to Alexis on the bed and softly swept the hair out of her face while he waited for her to wake up. It didn’t take long and she scowled up at him as Mark arrived.

“What are you doing here?” She asked him as she pushed herself into a sitting position. The act made her turn green and she lowered herself back down.

“Feeling sick?” He asked her in turn, knowing she did.

“Yes.” She moaned and threw an arm over her eyes.

“Come on. I’ll take you somewhere more comfortable.” He said sliding his arms under her body and then cradled her against his chest. She looked like she thought about protesting but said nothing in the end and he carried her out of the infirmary.

“You can just drop her off in her room and I can take care of her there.” Mark said following them down the hall.

Eric shot him an annoyed look. “You came to me for help because I knew what she needed and you didn’t, so I think I can handle it from here.”

“But she’s my sister and you might…”

“Might what, Mark?” He stared the smaller man down, daring him to say what Eric knew he was about to.

Mark put up less of a challenge than Trudi did and quickly averted his gaze. “I guess I’ll be in my room if she needs me then.” And he detoured down another hallway. Eric shook his head in disbelief at the fact that Mark was related to Alexis because he had no spine at all.

He took her to his newly assigned apartment and placed her on his disheveled bed. The curtains were already shut for the night so he couldn’t see the sunset behind them but pink light peeked from the bottom of the fabric anyway and he put the bedside light on with a click. Soft light bathed her face and gave her pale skin a healthy glow.

“Where am I?” She asked, waking up.

“My place.”

“Ugh. You don’t give up, do you?” She grumbled and turned over.

“Do you want me to?”

“I really don’t care right now, Eric, because I’m going to sleep.” She announced and rolled over to hug his pillow.

“Hold on.” He said sitting on the bed beside her. “Mark said this attack was worse than the others. How come?”

“What other attacks?”

“The ones you had during fear simulations, amongst others.”

Her eyebrow lifted in puzzlement.

“Of course.” Eric said in comprehension. “You don’t remember them and this was probably the first one you’ve had since losing your memory. But why remember your fear of needles now?”

“Probably because I haven’t had a shot in a long time, and I don’t exactly remember being scared of them, I just got this… feeling, when I saw the needle, kinda like when I see you…” She trailed off when she realized what she almost confessed and added, “It scared me and I didn’t know why.”

“You feel scared when I’m around?” He asked, staring at her face with a frown on his. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him again.

“No.” She clarified. “I just meant that I get a feeling that I can’t explain around you, like what happened in the infirmary.”

He contemplated the possibilities of what exactly she could be feeling and wanting to hear it from her, he quietly asked, “What feeling do you have then?”

Alexis sighed and turned away from him. “I’m too tired to deal with this right now, Eric. Can I just please go to sleep now?”

Eric wanted to press her further but she did look exhausted and he decided to let it go, for now. He got up with a final look at her and made himself comfortable on the couch.  
***

  
Alexis’ POV

Alexis woke up sore. The tube of cream for her ribs on the bedside table was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes and she picked it up. Wanting a nice hot shower, she blearily made her way to the bathroom and striped down.

The stiffness slowly faded as the water pressure kneaded her muscles and she relaxed under the spray. The events from the previous day slowly came back to her as her mind woke up and she groaned at the embarrassment of her attack.

_How am I going to live that down?_ She wondered, resting her head on the shower wall and letting the water beat on her back.

When she was done, she wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out. Steam had frosted the glass of the mirror and she used her hand to wipe a line through it so she could see her face. Tiny water droplets beaded along her shoulders and brow and she watched as one rolled down the slope of her cheekbone and blended in with the rest of her dewy skin.

She took a deep breath and wondered what the day would bring next. More training, of course, but would the butterflies in her stomach still be there when she saw him?

The nagging feeling that there was something about Eric just wouldn’t go away and it bothered her. She knew he claimed that she loved him, and that could be it, but the videos told her something different.

When she was with Four, even from a distance you could tell she liked him. They talked, joked and smiled together, but with Eric, she looked scared and sad. But he was kind to her last night and if it was all an act then it was possible, right?

God, she was confused and she ran a hand over her face. Alexis hated having all these feelings with no memories to explain them and she shook her head to clear her thoughts and picked up the toothbrush lying on the counter. It was Eric’s but it would have to do and brushed her teeth quickly before getting dressed in the sweaty clothes from the day before.

The morning sunlight was pouring in through the opened curtains and Eric was making the bed when she left the bathroom and those stupid butterflies came back. She pushed them down as far as she could and walked past him to the door, needing to get away before he confused her more. She itched to watch more of the footage feeds before she made up her mind about him but it would have to wait until later.

Not wanting to be impolite, she turned with a hand on the door knob and said, “Thanks for letting me take over your bed last night and I guess I’ll see you after breakfast.”

He tossed the pillow he just fluffed onto the bed and casually shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal. If you want, we can go to breakfast together before training starts.”

“I was actually going to go back to my place and get changed first and stuff.” She replied, purposely rejecting his offer to avoid extra time with him.

“Okay.” He replied and Alexis noticed the way his shoulders were rigid. That feeling urged her to change her mind, but she was determined to keep her distance and left before she could cave in to it.  
***

  
Alexis was slammed onto the mat again for the umpteenth time in an hour and she was in pain. Whatever numbing power that cream the nurse had given her had, it wore off after the first five hits to the ribs and they were throbbing again. The ache made it hard to move easily and Eric, who was in much better shape than she was, kept telling her to work through it.

She was grumbling that he should try working through it with a possible punctured lung and see how he does when a hand appeared in front of her face. Taking it, the strong arm hauled her up to her feet and Eric began lifting her shirt.

“Did you use that cream this morning?” He asked, his manner full of concern but she swatted him away before he got a good look.

“Back off, Eric.” She said, trying hard to mask the sudden excitement running through her veins at the thought of him touching her in any way different from punching her in the face.

Sure she’d already let him kiss her back in the club, but that was different. For starters, she was distracted by the life and death situation and second, she wasn’t aware of just how strong the pull between them was at the time. It wasn’t until they were in the relative safety of the Bureau and she could relax that she noticed how he was the first thing she looked for in every room she entered or how her pulse sped up at the thought of seeing him for any reason and quite frankly, it scared the shit out of her.

Her books, the romance ones Eric so eloquently compared himself to that night in the abandoned house, were full of love at first sight and prince Charmings but those weren’t her favorite ones. She preferred the stories where the heroines fell for the cocky anti-heroes over time, but it would seem that her love life was playing out the former storyline and she honestly didn’t like the idea of falling in love with someone she barely knew.

_What if it wasn’t even true love anyway?_

The thought suddenly occurred to her at the memory of her books and not wanting to convince herself to fall for someone if it was all a lie, she blurted out, “Have you ever considered that it might just be Stockholm syndrome?”

He looked utterly confused by her random question and said, “What are you talking about?”

“You and me; our love.” She said, waving between them. “What if it was only because of Stockholm syndrome?”

His eyes narrowed. “I need some clarification on what the fuck Stockholm syndrome is.”

“It was in one of my books. It’s happens when someone falls in love with their captor and you held me prisoner, right? So, what if that’s what happened and it’s not real?”

Eric’s jaw jumped from clenching it so hard and he stared at her for a moment. “Are you asking me if the reason why you would love me is because of some stupid syndrome?”

“I didn’t say it was the only reason why…”

“Get the fuck out.” He barked at her in mid-sentence and she snapped her mouth shut in shock at his outburst. “I don’t need you to tell me if it was real or not. I was the one there, I know it was real and to me it’s _still_ real. Now get out before I do worse damage than your ribs.”

“You wouldn’t dare…” She replied, stunned.

“Don’t you dare presume to know what I would or wouldn’t do!” He bellowed. “You don’t even know me! _This_ ,” He gestured to her, “Alexis, doesn’t know me! I’ve lost the Alexis I knew, so GO!”

Alexis took a step back at the intense emotions he was releasing all at once: sorrow, regret… rage and said, “I’m sorry, Eric.”

She bolted for the door with tears falling down her face when he threw the water bottle across the room and she cringed at the sound of it crashing behind her. The door closed with a bang but it did nothing to block out the carnage that was happening inside the room and she slid down the wall in anguish at his pain. Pain that she was causing and didn’t know how to fix.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just a note to let you know that I had to redo chapter 7. So if you haven't already read the new version, I highly recommend that you do that before continuing onto this one. Thanks!

Four’s POV

Four ran. The moment that his radio crackled to life and told him of the damage Eric was causing, he bolted for the training room. He wasn’t entirely surprised that Eric had finally blown up - all those years of restraining his true feelings for an act had to take a toll on him - because Four had seen the first cracks in Eric’s armor the moment Alexis came. Now that she was back in his life, it was only a matter of time before he broke. Four had just hoped that Eric could have held on long enough to finish what they had started before that time came but apparently time had already ran out.

He slowed his run to a walk when he spotted Alexis sitting just outside the door, sobbing. Concerned that maybe she was hurt, he kneeled down to her level and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, are you hurt?” He questioned and she sniffled as she shook her head. “What happened? I was told that Eric was trashing the place.”

“He was.” She replied, her voice thick with tears. “But it’s been quiet the last few minutes, even though he hasn’t left.”

Four looked back at the door behind him, wondering what Eric was up to in there. He needed to talk to him but leaving Alexis in the hall didn’t seem right and so he said, “Why don’t I take you home?” She hesitated only a moment before nodding and wiping her nose on her sleeve as Four pulled her up by the hand.

“It’s all my fault.”

“What is?” He asked gently, hearing the despair in her voice. He wasn’t lying before when he told her he still loved her in a way and it pained him to see her so sad.

“Eric trashing the training room; I said something I obviously shouldn’t have and I…. hurt his feelings.”

“Did you call him a lousy fighter or something?” He joked to lighten the mood but it didn’t work.

“No. I implied that our previous relationship was based on a lie and he lost it.” She explained, stopping in the middle of the corridor to look him in the eye. “I broke his heart, Four, and I mean I tore it out of his chest and stomped on it.”

He stared right back. “Do you believe it was a lie?”

“I don’t know what I believe! Everything is so confusing. I have these memories of people and events that apparently aren’t real or never happened and yet to me they did, and then there are people talking to me like they know me but I have no idea who they are. What would you believe Four?”

He paused, searching her strife filled golden brown eyes. “I would follow my gut. You listened to it once before and it led you to your heart. Don’t stop listening, Alexis because it’s the only thing that any of us knows never lies.”

She choked back on a sudden sob. “What if I’ve already screwed it up?”

“Then fix it.”

“I don’t know how, short of remembering.”

“Neither do I.” He sighed. This was complicated and he just didn’t have the time to deal with it when everything else was going on at the same time. Maybe having them together was a bad idea for now.

They quietly picked their pace back up and came to her apartment around the corner. She turned to him at her door and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and said, “Thanks.” Four smiled softly and gave her a nod. As soon as she was safely inside he let out a deep sigh and went back with dread sitting in the pit of his stomach.

The room was in shambles; it would take days to make it right and Four withheld the groan at the sight of it. What mattered right now was the state of Eric’s health because not only was he important to their plan, he was a friend in a way and Four cared about him.

The two of them added so much drama to the Bureau that most of the staff spent a lot of their time gossiping about them and although it annoyed Four, it cut some of the tension around the place and the less stress induce fighting there was, the better; so he kept his mouth shut.

Eric was sitting on an overturned bench with his back to him when Four entered the room and he could see his shoulders shaking with quiet grief as he neared. The sound of a hard piece of plastic crunched underneath his foot and he half-expected Eric to try and hide his tears but he merely raised his bloodshot eyes to meet Four’s when he stood in front of him.

“I’ve lost her.” Came out of his mouth but Four could barely hear it.

“You haven’t lost her. She’s still here; you just need to find her again. Things have changed, you’ve changed, she’s changed; it will just take time.” He tried to soothe him.

“Time.” Eric muttered and shook his head. “I’ve given time my life and now it wants more of it. I’m tired of waiting.”

“There’s nothing else you can do but wait, Eric. You can’t go back; all you can do is move forward.”

“Like hell I can’t.” Eric said defiantly and slowly stood up to match Four’s height. “Where can I find Duncan?”

His brows furrowed at the question. “He’s probably in his lab. What are you planning to do? Eric?” He called after him as Eric stormed off.

 _Great_.  
***

  
Eric’s POV

How could he have been so stupid to think she would be the same Alexis that he loved? The denial he held onto for so long came crashing down on him in a second and all it took was a simple question and a hole was ripped through his chest. He felt as if she had died instantly and it was the sliver of hope that he might get her back that kept him from complete madness.

He blindly made his way through the corridors to Duncan’s lab - not caring who saw him or who he pushed out of his way - and he slammed the door open when he found it. When Duncan looked up from his microscope at Eric’s entrance, he jumped off his stool and backed into the shelf behind him, knocking over a few empty vials that crashed onto the floor.

“Er… Eric.” He stammered in greeting. “I, uh, heard you were back. What can I do for you?”

Normally he’d enjoy the fear radiating off the smaller man, but today Eric wasn’t in the mood to enjoy anything and he got to the point of his visit. “Is there any way to reverse the Abnegation serum?” He asked.

Duncan appeared to think about it. “I don’t know. I don’t think anyone has ever tried.”

“Try. Find me a way to get the old Alexis back and maybe I’ll think about not breaking your legs when this is all over.” Eric threatened and as all the blood drained from Duncan’s face, he vigorously nodded. “Good.” Eric said and stormed back out.  
***

Alexis’ POV

For days, Alexis showed up to the training room and waited for Eric but he never came and neither did anyone else, even when she sat there from day break to bed time. She had thought about tracking him down and demanding he man up and get back to work but she was too afraid she’d make it worse if she did and waited for him to come to her instead.

It wasn’t until the fifth day that someone finally came in while she was hitting the large punching bag on the right side of the room; the sound of the door closing behind her made her heart soar at the thought that Eric was back but when she turned around, it wasn’t him. A woman around her age with long blond hair came striding up to her and offered her a hand in greeting.

“Hey, I’m Beatrice.”

Alexis took her hand and gave her a firm shake. “Alexis. You’re Four’s wife, right?” She asked, knowing she’d seen them around together.

“Yeah. He actually asked me to come and finish your training.”

Alexis frowned. “What about Eric?”

“I was under the impression that he hasn’t been coming, has he?”

“No…” Alexis reluctantly admitted, “But what if he does?”

Beatrice shrugged. “Then I’ll let him take over, but we can’t waste time on your training while we wait for him to snap out of his foul mood.”

Alexis eyed Beatrice up, she wasn’t very big or tough looking at all, and said, “Do you know how to fight? I thought you were from Abnegation.”

“I was, but I’m Divergent and Four’s been teaching me.”

Alexis would have preferred Eric or Four or even Amar because she knew they had been doing this for years, but someone was better than no one and she nodded her consent.

“I see you’ve at least taken it upon yourself to try without him.” Beatrice said in approval, noticing the weights and other equipment that had been moved from use.

“Eric said I was weak, so I’m working on it.”

“Well, I know I’m not Eric or Four but I’ve got a year’s worth of training behind me now so hopefully I will be an adequate trainer. My best skill is throwing knives but why don’t we start with gun practice? The shooting range was almost empty when I passed by it on my way here.”

“Sure.” Alexis said, sad that Eric wouldn’t be coming after all. She gave the room one last glance before they left and followed Beatrice to another where they held the gun range.

“So, the story around here is that you’re a legend.” Beatrice said, trying to strike up conversation as they walked.

“Is it?” She said, a little apprehensive about the past. She hadn’t had a lot of contact with anyone outside of the people who helped her get there since arriving but she did know they had been watching her.

Beatrice nodded. “I was jealous of you, actually, because I couldn’t fight to save my life and you made it look so easy on the cameras. I took to training on my own so I could at least keep myself alive and one night Four saw me. I knew he had helped you so when he offered to help me, I said yes in a heartbeat.”

“And you two fell in love.” Alexis added casually.

“Yes, we did.” She said and cast Alexis a side glance. “That won’t be a problem will it? I know you had feelings for each other.”

“That was in a past that I don’t remember, besides, apparently I turned Four down for Eric so I think it will be fine. I can see why we both liked him though, he’s a good man and you’re very lucky.”

Beatrice smiled as they approached the gun range and said, “He is.”

There were two others there, Amar and another girl Alexis didn’t know, practicing with hand pistols as they entered and Beatrice grabbed a rifle off the rack and inspected it before giving it to her.

“Try this. You just put it up against your shoulder and look through the sight at the target, and then pull the trigger when you’re ready but watch out for the kick back.” She warned.

Alexis nodded and did as she was told. Somehow it felt natural to hold it and after finding a comfortable position in the notch of her shoulder, she pulled the trigger. The butt of the gun pushed her shoulder back forcefully and she winced but her second try wasn’t as bad when she was expecting it. Her first bullet had clipped the edge of the target but the second was close to the middle and she grinned.

“Good. Seems like you still remember how to shoot.” Beatrice applauded her.

“Yeah, but she’s only ever used a rifle. Here, try this one.” Amar butted in, handing her his pistol after clearly watching her. “You never know what weapons you might pick up in the heat of a fight and you should be able to use it all.”

“Thanks.” Alexis said and took the gun. This one felt odd in her hands as it was smaller and Alexis missed the weight of the other gun, but she steadied her arm and aimed. Her shot went wide to the right and she cringed with embarrassment.

“It’s common for new shooters to jerk at the last minute when pulling the trigger, so make sure to pull it slowly and lean forward a bit to compensate for the kick back.” Amar said, moving her to a better position.

She tried again and it was better but not as good as the rifle. “You’ll get better with practice,” He said patting her on the shoulder and then casually leaned against the wall to address Beatrice. “So, Four replace Eric with you, huh?”

Alexis wasn’t sure whether Beatrice took the question as an insult or simple inquiry when she pursed her lips and replied, “I told him there were others better qualified to teach, like you, but he said no one wanted to step on Eric’s toes.”

Amar scoffed. “Who cares about Eric? He was the one who ditched her. I should have just let him leave when he wanted to but I’m a sucker for love. By the way,” He said, turning to Alexis, “Why the hell did you tell him it was Stockholm syndrome?”

She was startled that he had heard about it. The only person she told was Four and she doubted it very much that Eric would tell anyone. “How did you know about that?”

Amar waved his finger up at the ceiling. “There are eyes and ears everywhere around here; nothing is secret. Word spread like wild fire after your fight and while some understand your point of view, most of the ladies don’t see how you could turn him down.”

“And why’s that?” She asked, her annoyance level rising at the fact that people were apparently still butting into her personal life.

He shook his head. “According to them, he is one of the sexiest men alive. Personally, I don’t see it, but I can’t deny his love for you. Not when he risked his life going after you when it would have been ten times easier to just start fresh in the fringe. But just so you know, everyone knows you didn’t start to love him until _after_ you knew the truth so it couldn’t be Stockholm and he knows it too.”

“I really don’t need you to remind me how badly I screwed up, okay?” Alexis huffed. “He made it pretty clear by the way he trashed the room that he was pissed.”

“Whatever.” He shrugged. “It’s not my problem; I just thought you might like some helpful Eric tips.”

“Well, they came a little late because I’m pretty sure he wants nothing to do with me now.”

“I can’t argue with you there.” He agreed. “But I figured I should probably also tell you that he’s up to something with Duncan and that’s bad news because he hates Duncan.”

The name sounded so familiar that she half expected to know the name but not the face, except without even trying, the image of a man appeared in her mind’s eye and she got excited.

“Is Duncan a small, smart guy with brown curly hair?” She asked her companions.

“Yeah… Do you remember him?” Amar asked, looking at her in shock.

“I think so! But how?” She said, excited that she actually remembered someone on her own.

Beatrice, looking curious, said, “Maybe the serum is wearing off?”

“I don’t know.” Amar sounded sceptical. “Why remember Duncan over Eric, Four or Mark? And no one else in the Divergent city has remembered.”

“Was he there when they gave her the new memories?” Beatrice asked and Alexis thought back to the last time she was in the hospital only to realize she had seen David before.

_Alexis’ head throbbed when she woke up to find herself sitting up in a hospital bed with two strange men in the room with her. She tried to place the pieces of what happened back together and give them names, but everything was foggy._

_“How are you feeling, Alexis?” The man in the lab coat asked her as he unexpectedly shined a light into her eyes._

_She shied away from him and said, “Is that my name? I don’t remember it. What happened?”_

_The second man took a step closer. “Yes, your name is Alexis and you just got a bump on the head. It’s normal to forget at first but it will all come back soon. Your adoptive parents, the Aldermans, would have been proud of you.”_

_“For what?”_

_“You saved your friend’s life. Duncan will be pleased to know you are alright.”_

_“I don’t remember him.” She said, shaking her head trying to jog her memory._

_“Would you like to see a picture?” He asked._

_When she nodded, he began typing away on a hand held tablet and brought up a picture of a young man in a blue lab coat with curly brown hair and blue eyes_.

_“Quite the crush he has on you too.” The man chuckled as he put the screen away._

_“Is he okay? Can I go see him?” She asked concerned for the man she didn’t recognize._

_“Oh, he is quite fine, but he has some work to do for me for a while yet so it might be some time before you see him again but you will, I promise. For now, I want you to rest and get better, and in the morning you can go home.”_

_The lab coat guy handed her a drink and she took it graciously, downing the contents without a word. Within a few moments she fell asleep and woke up in her apartment later on with her memories intact, or at least, what she thought were her memories._

“No, he wasn’t.” Alexis answered, her eyes still focused internally on her memory. “David was there but he showed me a picture of Duncan. Said we were friends and I saved his life.”

Amar snorted. “That’s total bullshit. No one likes Duncan, especially after he helped David sabotage our own people the first time we went to war with Jeanine.”

Alexis snapped back to reality. “If he did that then why the hell is he walking around free for Eric hang out with?”

“We still need him and he helped us too. He claimed he had no choice because David threatened him and to prove he was on our side, he was the one who drugged David with the memory serum.” Amar explained.

“So, if this Duncan really is on our side then what would Eric want with a double crosser?”

“He must have something that Eric needs.” Beatrice suggested.

“Like what?” Alexis asked.

“He’s one of the smarter scientists we have and he specializes in serums…” Amar shook his head in confusion and then slowly stopped as an idea dawned on him. “Oh shit, I think I know what he’s up to.” The girls looked at him expectantly and he explained, “I think he’s trying to find an antidote to the abnegation serum so you get your memories back.”

“Is that possible?” Alexis asked with mixed feelings about the return of her memories.

“How should I know? I’m just a soldier.” He shrugged.

“I wouldn’t know either, but I’ll mention it to Four.” Beatrice said and handed Alexis another gun. “Maybe he can get some answers, but first, we need to finish today’s training.”


End file.
